GV 





■ 



■ 




2> 






> 

> 
> 


2> Z2> 
> Z2* 




^ Z 
Z> 




5 


> Z> !N 


> 


z> 


3> 


z> 


^Z> _.— _- 3^ 


I> 


^^> 


3> 


:> 


3> ~Z3B 


5; 


>~3 
[>Z 

z>~~ 






>Z> 1 
Z>Z> Z 
Z> Z> _ 


» 


^>: 




► 


~~yf3> 


*» 


:> • ~ 


]3pfr . 




-^>^> .: 


» 


^>Z 


~2B> 




>^2> 


*> 


X 


^3^ 




7>i->3> 


^ 


►zat 


23^ 




zy>^> 


1 


o*: 


Z* 




Z»2> 

;z>s> 


"I 


CS 


H 


.• = 






^>m> 






z?za* 






- 

> 



^^ **-'- ^ ■ 






-■z>oz>- 

^ z>^> .., 

> ^ ^ 
Z> z>> 

3 Z>H> 






3>T3^ 



LIBRARY_OF CONGRESS 
%5S'.V dop^ri^ fa,l^_7f 

|| UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. 



3B3iaO 



z> 



Z> >*> ... 

zaaw> 
z> >-» z 



3* 

Z^> - > .^>- 

>^Z» :>>-» Z> 
> ■•;> 



z> z> 






a» "J>4ii>^> > >t> 


3* - ^> ■"' :^> "^> 


j> > ^> 


Z> .^'Z> Z>~Z> 


^> >5^> 


^ »->0* b&O ~> 3 >:52> 


^ ^^> ;^>Z> 


Z> »^> 


;> .»Z>:*>z> 


z> :>i^> 


i* >5TZ** 3£> 3 


_> »^> 


^ > p JZ>^ '^>J> 


..£> >^>Z» 


>» "r:^'"~3e> > 


~^> >>3^^. 


* >£~2^T50j> 


Z»3SZ» 


^ >> Z^^^C>z> 


i> >:a>^a 


W 2» 'ZI^%» 


Z> >»ZZ3 


^ ^> >> ^^^^>r^> 


"^ t> — 



3 3 

>T> Z 
-»3 3 



> C3> 



:>_.:> 



^^»!1P> 












S>^>^> 



3 > 









^ 

:? 















> 



>^? : ^i 



fep 






j»^- 






55> 





















<^-^ s 



^i$5 






> -y> jm _ 
^» X> 2. 






.■k-p UJ- 



LiSr 



A^ 



>4 .mak 



JNQ& 



15^181 




frtL&IlBK 



^ 



i 

i 



I Vol. *, No. 181. Aug. 27.1883. Annual Subscription. *M<mJL. 

■ — " 

WHIST, Ofi 

BUMBLEPUPPY? 



. _. i l.Hi i kl A drj^sed to Children 
BY 

PEMBRIDGE. 




^Sl 



11 



Butered at the Post Office, N. Y., as second-class matter Jtm. 
|» Copyright, 1883, by John W. Lovell Co. « 



:NEW YORK^ 



+ To i\n • w ■• l, ove h h • coaspamy+ 

j^.- r ^-^ j ^.j-^r.agr 1 - - 14, 6,16 V^SEY STREET- 




lr» A * A » A * A * A » A » A » A *"^» 



A neat CLOTH BINDING for this v»lumt can be obtained from any bookseller or newsdealer, price Idcts, 



LOVELL'S LIBRARY. 



CATALOGUE. 



7. 
8. 

9. 
10. 
11. 
12. 
13. 
14. 



15. 
16. 
17. 

IS. 

19. 

20. 

21. 

22. 

23. 

24. 

25. 

26. 
27. 

28. 

29. 

30. 

31. 
32. 

33. 
34. 



35. 



87. 
38. 
39. 
40. 



41. 

42. 

43. 
44. 



Hyperion, by H. W. Longfellow. . 
Outre-Mer, by H. W. Longfellow.. 
The Happy Boy, by Bjtirnson. . . . 

Arne, by Bjornaon 

Frankenstein; or, the Modern Pro- 
metheus, by Mrs. Shelley 

The Last of the Mohicans, by J. 

Fenimore Cooper , 

Clytie, by Joseph Hatton , 

The Moonstone, by Collins, P't I.. 
The Moonstone, by Collins, P't II 
Oliver Twist, by Charles Dickens 

The Coming Race, by Lytton 

Leila, by Lord Lytton 

The Three Spaniards, by Walker. 
The Tricks of the Greeks Unveiled; 

or, the Art of Winning at every 

Game, by Robert Houdin 

L'Abbe Constantin, by Halevy.. 

Freckles, by R. F. Redcliff 

The Dark Colleen, by Harriett Jay , 
They Were Married ! by Walter Be- 

sant and James Rice 

Seekers after God, by Canon Farrar. 
The Spanish Nun, by Thos. De 

Quincey 

The Green Mountain Boys, by 

Judge D. P. Thompson 

Fleurette, by Eugene Scribe 

Second Thoughts, by Rhoda 

Broughton 

The New Magdalen, by Wilkie 

Collins 

Divorce, by Margaret Lee 

Life of Washington, by Henley.. 
Social Etiquette, by Mrs. W. A. 

Saville 

Single Heart and Double Face, by 

Charles Reade 

Irene, by Carl Detlef 

Vice Versa; or, a Lesson to Fathers, 

by F. Anstey 

Ernest Maltravers, by Lord Lytton. 
The Haunted House and Calderon 

the Courtier, by Lord Lytton . . . 

John Halifax, by Miss Mulock 

800 Leagues on the Amazon, being 

Part I of the Giant Raft, by 

Jules Verne 

The Cryptogram, being Part II of 

the Giant Raft, by Jules Verne . 
Life of Marion, by Horry andWeems 

Paul and Virginia 

Tale of Two Cities, by Dickens 

The Hermits, by Kingsley . ...... 

An Adventure in Thule, and Mar- 
riage of Moira Fergus, by Wm. 

Black , 

A Marriage in High Life, by Octave 

Feuillet 

Robin, by Mrs. Parr 

Two on a Tower, byThomas Hardy 
Rasselas, by Samuel Johnson 



Alice, or, the Mysteries, being Part 

II of Ernest Maltravers .20 

Duke of Kandos, by A. Matthey . ..20 

Baron Munchausen 10 

A Princess of Thule, by Wm. Black. 20 
The Secret Despatch, by Grant.... 20 
Early Days of Christianity, by Can- 
on Farrar, D,D., Parti 20 

Early Days of Christianity, by Can- 
on Farrar, D.D., Part II 20 

Vicar of Wakefield, by Oliver Gold- 
smith 10 

Progress and Poverty, by Henry 

George 20 

The Spy, by J. Fenimore Cooper. . . 20 
East Lynne, by Mrs. Henry Wood. 20 
A Strange Story, by Lord Lytton . . 20 
Adam Bede, by Geo. Eliot, Part I.. 15 
Adam Bede, by Geo. Eliot, Part II. . 15 
The Golden Shaft, by Gibbon. 20 
Portia, or, By Passions Rocked, by 

The Duchess 20 

Last Days of Pompeii, by Lytton. 20 
The Two Duchesses, being the se- 
quel to the Duke of Kandos, by 

A. Mathey 20 

Tom Brown's School Days at Rug- 
by 20 

The Wooing 0% by Mrs. Alexander, 

Part I 15 

TheWooing O't, by Mrs. Alexander, 

Part II 15 

The Vendetta, Tales of Love and 

Passion, by Honore de Balzac. 20 
Hypatia, by Rev. Kingsley, Part I. .15 
Hypatia, by Kingsley, Part II. ...15 
Selma, by Mrs. J. Gregory Smith. .15 
Margaret and her Bridesmaids. . . %0 

Horse Shoe Robinson, Part 1 15 

Hor>e Shoe Robinson, Part II 15 

Gulliver's Travels, by Dean Swift.. 20 
Amos Barton, by George Eliot.. . .10 

The Berber, by W. E. Mayo 20 

Silas Marner, by George Eliot 10 

The Queen of the County 20 

Life of Cromwell, by Paxton Hood.. 15 
Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte . . .20 
Child's History of England, by 

Charles Dickens 20 

Molly Bawn, by The Duchess 20 

Pillone, by William Bergsoe 15 

Phyllis, by the Duchess 20 

Romola, by George Eliot, Part I... 15 
Romola, by George Eliot, Part II. .15 

Science in Short Chapters 30 

Zanoni, by Lord Lytton 20 

A Daughter of Heth, by W. Black. 20 
The Right and Wrong Uses of the 

Bible, by Rev. R. Heber Newton.20 
Night and Morning, by Lord Lytton 

Part I 15 

Night and Morning, by Lord Lytton 
Partll 15 



WHIST, 



OR 



BUMBLEPUPPY? 



&en Ccctures atoresaeft ta Cljttfrren, 



By PEMBRIDGE. ° 



" Ingenuas didicisse fideliter arte? 
Emollunt mores, nee sinuisse feros." — The Newcomes. 



NEW YORK: 

JOHN W. LOVELL COMPANY, 

14 & 16 Vesey Street. 

V 



'MS 
v &&? 



X 



PREFACE, 



These remarks are addressed to the young, in the 
hope that when they arrive at man's estate they will 
use their best endeavors to do away with Law 91. 

To the present generation already acquainted with 
" the game," I should no more presume to offer advice 
than I should presume to teach my lamented grand- 
mother to suck eggs, if she were still alive. 

" To instruct them, no art could ever reach, 
No care improve them, and no wisdom teach." 

Proverbs, chap. 27, v. 22. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 



LECTURE I 

INTRODUCTORY. 

" Vacuis committer© venis 
Nil nisi lene decet." — Eton Grammar. 

u Those that do teach young babes 
Do it with gentle means and easy tasks." — Shakespere. 

As, humanly speaking, you will probably play some- 
thing for the next fifty years, should you select either 
whist or bumblepuppy, * it will be as well for your 

* u That there are a large number of players who think they play 
whist, and yet do not reason, is too true ; but such play may be 
bumblepuppy, or some other game, it certainly is not whist." — West- 
minster Papers. 

Definition of Bumblepuppy. 

Bumblepuppy is persisting to play whist, either in utter ignoranee 
of all its known principles, or in defiance of them, or both. 
Hudibras has given another definition : — 

" A liberal art, that costs no pains 
Of study, industry, or brains." 



g Whist, or bumblepuppy? 

own comfort— the comfort of others is a minor con- 
sideration* — to have some idea of their general prin- 
ciples. But first you must decide which of these two 
games you intend to play ; for though they are often 
confounded together, and are both supposed to be 
governed by the same ninety-one laws and a chapter 
on etiquette, they differ much more distinctly than 
the chalk and cheese of the present day. Professor 
Pole, in his "Theory of Whist," Appendix B, has 
made a very skilful attempt (by modifying the maxims 
of whist) to make the two games into a kind of 
emulsion. I was rather taken with this ; and, having 
been informed that the most incongruous materials 
will mix if you only shake them together long enough, 
I have given his plan a fair trial, and failed. 

It may be that I had not sufficient patience and 
perseverance, but the principal cause of failure I found 
to be this : The bumblepuppist only admires his own 
eccentricities : and, if a person of respectable antece- 
dents gets up a little pyrotechnic display of false 
cards for his own private delectation, he utterly 
misses the point of the joke, he fails even to see that 
it is clever ; if such a comparison may be drawn with- 
out offence, he doesn't consider what is sauce for the 
goose is sauce for the gander. 

* In all well-regulated society, your aim should be the greatest hap- 
piness of the greatest number ; and that number is notoriously number 
one. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 9 

In the face of this difficulty, I should recommend 
you to treat them as separate games. As you go 
down in the scale, they closely approximate. That 
extremes meet, is a law of nature ; and between the 
worst whist and the best bumblepuppy it is almost 
impossible to draw the line. 

Other elementary forms, protozoa for instance, are 
often so much alike that it is difficult to decide 
whether they are plants or animals. But represen- 
tative specimens of each game, beyond being found 
at the same table, — in scientific slang, having the 
same habitat, — have scarcely one point in common : 
you might just as reasonably mistake horseradish for 
beef. 

If you elect whist (Ishall refer to the laws later 
on), begin by learning the leads, and the ordinary 
play of the second, third, and fourth hand, which you 
will find in any whist-book : * this can be done in a 
few days ; then after cutting for partners (see note to 
Law 14), as soon as the cards are dealt, not befote 
(see note to Law 45) : — 

(1) Take up your hand ; 

(2) Count your cards (see notes to Laws 42 and 
46); 

(3) Sort them into suits ; 

(4) Look them over carefully ; 

* "Do not attempt to practise till you have acquired a competent 
knowledge of the theory."— Mathews, A.D. 1800, 



IO WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

(5) Fix firmly in your memory not only the trump 
suit but the trump card; then 

(6) Give your undivided attention to the table : it 
is the} e, and not in your hand, the game is played ; 

(7) See every card played in the order it is played;* 

(8) When you deal, place the trump card apart 
from the rest of the suit, that you may know at once 
which it is. 

N.B. — Knowing is always better than the very best 
thinking, and generally much more easy : by these 
simple means you get rid at once and forever of all 
such childish interruptions as " Draw your card ! " 
"Who led ?" "What are trumps? " which, by their 
constant repetition, not merely worry and annoy the 
rest of the table, but tend to destroy any clue to the 
game that you yourself might otherwise possess. 

It is a good plan to sit clear of the table ; and then, 
if you are constrained to drop a few cards, they at 
any rate fall on the floor, where they cannot be called. 

So far, I have assumed your object to be whist. 
If your end and aim is bumblepuppy, you need do 
done of these things : you can learn the leads and the 
recognized play — more or less imperfectly— in a few 
years by practice, or you can leave them unlearned ; 

* " The first whist lesson should be to keep your eye on the table, 
and not on your own cards." 

" We cannot all have genius, but we can all have attention : the 
absence of intelligence we cannot help, inattention is unpardonable." 
~~- Westminster Papers. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? tl 

"Build by v»uatever plan caprice decrees, 

With what materials, on what ground, you please." 

Cowper. 

Ignorance i .. A ■ variety to the game, and variety is 
charming. You can set all laws at defiance ; and if 
any one objects.- — after much wrangling,— you can 
refer the matter in dispute to the " Westminster 
Papers/' * and hang it up for a month certain (this is 
a better plan than writing to " The Field," for there 
you only get a week's respite). 

Should you be in any doubt whether whist or the 
other game is your vocation, the first half-dozen times 
you play make it a rule never to look at the last 
trick ; and if at the end of that time you find the 
difficulty insuperable, give up, as hopeless, all idea of 
being a whist-player. 

NOTES ON SOME OF THE LAWS. 

" Vir bonus est quis? 
Qui consulta patrum, qui leges juraqueservat." — Eton Grammar, 

I have mentioned that there are ninety-one laws. 
The wording of the first is not strictly accurate : it 
ought to be, "The rubber is generally the best of 
three games ; " for, though I myself have never seen 
more than four, it may consist of any number, as the 
following decisions show : — 

* Since these words were written, the " Westminster Papers?' is 
no more. 

"Sit tibi terra levis ! " 



i2 Whist, or almblepuppy? 

Decision A. — The rubber is over when one side 
has won two games, and remembers it has done so : 
memory must be brought to bear before the other 
-side has won two games, and remembers it has done 
so. 

Decision B. — If a game is forgotten, it is no part of 
the losers' duty to remind the winners of the fact. 

Law 5. — This law is clear enough : still, the first time 
you revoke and are found out, if your opponents hold 
honors, and you have nothing scored, — however many 
you have made by cards, — they will claim a treble: 
you should be prepared for this. The claim is wrong ; 
but in spite of that — possibly because of it — " they 
all do it." - 

Law 7. — Decision.— -You must call your honors 
audibly, but you are not obliged to yell because your 
adversaries are quarrelling. 

Law 14. — Always get hold of the cards before cut- 
ting, and place a high card at one end of the pack, 
and a low one at the other ; then cut last, and take 
either end card you prefer ; by this means you select 
your partner. This is an admirable coup, and it tends 
to the greatest happiness of the greatest number 
(Note *, p. 8) ; but it must be executed with judg- 
ment, for if you are detected your happiness will not 
be increased — rather the reverse. Some purists, 
anxious to be on the safe side, only keep an eye on 
.tftib bottom card, and take it when it suits them. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 13 

Law 34. — Until the last few years, after you had 
cut the cards into two distinct packets, if the dealer 
thought fit to knock one of them over, leave a card 
on the table, or drop half a dozen or so about, it was 
a misdeal on the ground that these proceedings were 
opposed to one or other of the next two laws, 35 and 
36; but the latest decision is, that the dealer can mal- 
treat the pack in any way he likes, and as often as he 
likes, and compel you to keep on cutting dfe die in 
diem. 

Old Decision. — " You cannot make your adversary 
cut a second time : when you left a card on the table, 
it could not be said that there was confusion in the 
cutting; it is a misdeal. ,, 

New Decision. — " There is nothing in the laws to 
make this a misdeal. The play comes under the term 
'confusion of the cards, and there must be a fresh 
deal." 

If you see a potent, grave, and reverend senior care- 
fully lubricating his thumb with saliva, don't imagine 
he is preparing it for deglutition: he is only about to 
deal. Even if he should swallow it, why interfere ? 
it is not your thumb. Should you suffer from acute 
hyperaesthesis, you can follow the example of an old 
friend of mine, who once rose from the table in his ter- 
ror, and returned armed with a large pair of black-kid 
glovc~, n\hl\Jii he wore during the remainder of the 
stance: though the effect was funereal — not to say ghast- 



I4 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

lyy— it was attended with the best results in his case; 
but it is just as likely to lead to ill-feeling, and there- 
fore to be deprecated. 

Law 37. — An incorrect or imperfect pack is a pack 
containing duplicates, or more or less than fifty-two 
cards; but it is neither incorrect nor imperfect because 
you think fit to place any number of your own cards 
in the other pack, or to supplement them with one 
from it. Vide Laws 42, 46. 

Law 42. — If you take one card from the other pack 
it is clear that you subject yourself to a penalty: if you, 
take more than one, the matter is not so clear; pos- 
sibly you may gain by it. Should you wish to have the 
point settled, any time you have a bad hand, add the 
other pack to it, then complain that you have sixty- 
five cards, throw them up, claim a new deal under 
Rule 37, and see what comes of it. 

Law 45. — Taking up your- cards during the deal 
has one advantage, that if you can get your hand sorted, 
and begin to play without waiting for the dealer, you 
save time, and time is reported to be money. To 
counterbalance this, there are two attendant disadvan- 
tages: you prevent the possibility of a misdeal, and 
any card exposed by your officiousness gives the dealer 
the option of a new deal. 

Law 46.— Under this law it is manifest that — the 
other hands being correct — your hand may consist of 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? Ifi 

any number of cards from one to thirteen; and if you 
once play to a trick, however many you may be short, 
you will have to find them, or be responsible for them. 
See Law 70. 

Law 91. — -If this law, which is the main cause of in- 
attention and innumerable improper intimations, was 
abolished, whist would be greatly improved. 

The chapter on etiquette is good sense and good 
English, and is worthy of much more attention than 
is usually given to it. 

In addition to their ambiguity, and sins of commis- 
sion, there is also a sin of omission : there is no limit as 
to time, and it seems desirable there should be. I 
would suggest — as allowing the hesitating player rea- 
sonable latitude — -one of those sand-glasses, supposed 
to be useful for boiling an egg: there is no sense in 
giving him time enough to addle his egg. 

Though these laws appear, more difficult of access 
than I had imagined, they are not the laws of which 
the only copy was destroyed by Moses : I have seen 
them myself in Clay, Cavendish, and " The Art of 
Practical Whist"; and if you are unable to get any of 
these works from Mudie's, there are two copies of 
each in the British Museum , Great Russell Street, 
Bloomsbury. 

Before or after breakfast is the best time to play ; 
then, if ever, the intellect is clear,the attention undis- 



i6 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

tracted : in the afternoon you are exhausted by -the la- 
bors of the day, and your evenings should be devoted 
to the morrow's lessons or a quiet nap ( not the round 
game of that ilk). 



*1 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY f jj 



LECTURE II. 

THE LEAD. 
" Dux nobis opus est. 

The play of the entire hand often depends upon 
the very first card led, and the confidence your part- 
ner has that your lead is correct. Whatever, then, 
your original lead may be, let it be a true and — as far 
as you can make it so — a simple lead ; never lead an 
equivocal card — that is, one which may denote either 
strength or weakness — if you can lead a card about 
which no mistake is possible.* With the original lead, 
follow the books, and lead your strongest suit ! if you 
have nothing at all, do as little mischief as you can. 
In this pitiable condition, the head of a short suit — as 
a knave or a ten — is better than the lowest, or lowest 
but one, of five to the nine: your partner, when he 
sees the high card led, knows at once (assuming he 
knows anything) that he will have to save the game 
himself if it can be saved, and will take the necessary 

* " It is highly necessary to be correct in leads." " Never lead a 
card without a reason, though a wrong one." "Be particularly cau- 
tious not to deceive your partner in his or your own leads." — Mathews. 



18 WHIST, OR BUMBLEBUPPY ? 

steps to that end. Though there is ancient and 
modern authority for this,* I am perfectly aware it 
is heresy : I am also aware, and the reflection gives me 
quite as much pain as the heresy does, that leading 
a long weak suit with a bad hand and no cards of re- 
entry is a losing game. To lead your longest suit 
when you are neither likely to get the lead again, 
nor to make a trick in it if you did, is a short and easily 
remembered rule, but it is apt to bring its followers 
to grief: if I do so, I know perfectly well after the 
game is over X shall probably be left with the two 
long cards of that suit, or I may. have an opportunity 
of discarding one or both of them before that crisis 
arrives, but this is not the slightest consolation to me. 
While on the subject of heresy, I may as well refer 
to another lead which has a special orthodoxy of its 

* " According to the play that we see, with great weakness the rule 
is rather to lead strengthening cards. For our own part, we should 
be inclined to say, '' Lead from your long suit only when you are 
sufficiently strong to bring in that suit with the aid of a reasonable 
strength on the part of your partner." — Westminster Papers. 

" When you have a moderate hand yourself, sacrifice it to your 
partner. " — Mathews. 

" With a bad hand, lead that suit which is least likely to injure 
your partner. Do not, therefore, lead from four or five small cards." 
— Major A. 

" A lead from a queen or knave and one small card is not objec- 
tionable, if you have a miserably weak hand : your queen or knave 
may be valuable to your partner." — Clay. 

Even Cavendish, unless " generally " is synonymous with " always," 
admits the expediency of occasionally leading a short suit : " the hand, 
however weak, must hold one suit of four cards, and this should gen- 
erally be chosen.' 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? t 9 

own. In all suits of four or more, containing no 
sequence, you either lead the lowest, or, if you wish 
particularly to exhibit your knowledge of the game, the 
lowest but one ; but from king, knave, ten, etc, you 
lead the ten, and, if your object is a quiet life, you 
will continue to do so ; if you want to make tricks, 
the advantage of the lead is not so clear ; if the 
second player holds ace, queen, etc., or queen and 
another, you drive him into playing the queen, and so 
lose the trick, which/ if you had led your lowest in 
usual way, you might not have done. 

Against this you have the set-off, that by leading 
the ten you insure having the king-card of the suit 
in the third round ; but such a lead presupposes your 
partner neither to have ace, queen nor nine : if his best 
card is below the nine : the tricks you will make will 
be like angel's visits, few and far between, whatever 
you lead ; and why you should take such a despond- 
ing view of an unplayed suit, I am not aware. The 
advantage of opening a suit in which you hold tenace 
is not so great as to oblige you to handicap it by 
sending the town-crier round with a bell to proclaim 
what that tenace is : late in the handit is often ad- 
visable to lead the knave. 

N.B. — When you, second, third, or fourth player, 
have won the first trick, whatever you may think, you 
are not the original leader, and your lead then should 
be guided by your own hand. If it is a bad one you 



30 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

are under no compulsion to open a suit at all : one 
suit is already open, go on with that ; if it also is a 
bad one, one bad suit is a less evil than two bad suits, 
or opening a doubtful one in the dark. Return 
through strength up to declared weakness ; or, if it 
was your partner who led, why should you show a 
suit unless you hold a good sequence or strong 
trumps .?* Return his suit : yours will be led some time. 
Whatever you won the trick with, he is in a better 
position to defend himself, tffird player, than if he had 
to lead it again himself. Whenever you hold a suit 
with one honor in it, to lead that suit, if you can avoid 
it, is about the worse use you can make of it. Should 
you fail to see this, devote ten minutes — not when 
you are playing whist, but some wet half-holiday or 
quiet Sunday afternoon — to thinking the matter over. 
Even if you have a suit of king, queen to three, why 
not be quiet ? If anybody else opens the suit, you 
will probably make two tricks ; if you open it your- 
self, probably one : you can always do that ; but why 
you should go out of your way to lead a suit in which 
you hold four to the knave or five to the ten, is in- 
comprehensible. 

It is not generally known (or, if it is, it is never 

* In returning your partner's lead, if you had originally three, you 
return the higher of the two remaining cards : in returning through 
your adversary's lead — if you hold the third best and another- -play 
the small one, for your partner may hold the second best Single* and 
they will fall together. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY ? 2 1 

acted on, which comes to the s^pie thing) that neither 
in the ninety-one laws of whist, nor in any of its num- 
erous maxims, are you forbidden to play the third 
round of a suit, even though the best card is notori- 
ously held by your opponent. It is a common delu- 
sion to fancy, that, when a suit is declared against you, 
you can prevent it making, by leading something else ; 
you merely postpone the evil day, and do mischief in 
the interval* With trumps declared against you, be 
especially careful how you open new suits : surely ? 
when you have just succeeded in knocking your part- 
ner on the head in one suit, you might give him till 
the next hand to recover himself, instead of trying to 
assault him again the very next time you get the 
lead.t 
y Changing suits is one of the most constant annoy- 
ances you will have to contend against : queer temper, 
grumbling, logic, and so on, if sometimes a nuisance, 
are sometimes altogether absent ; but the determina- 
tion to open new suits for no apparent reason— unless 
a feeble desire on the part of your partner, to see how 



* " It is less mischievous, generally, to lead a certain losing card, 
than to open a fresh suit in which you are very weak." — What to Lead, 
by Cam. 

t As intelligent children you will perhaps be tempted to observe 
that all this is so self-evident, it is scarcely worth mentioning : at your 
immature time of life such a mistake is pardonable ; but as you grow 
older you will find that a determination to open ragged suits in season 
and out of season — especially out — is one of the strongest impulses 
pf our imperfect nature. 



22 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

far the proceeding will ^njure you, can be called a 
reason — is chronic. 

Never* lead a singleton unless you are strong 
enough in trumps to defeat any attempt either of your 
adversaries or your partner to get them out, in which 
case it might be as well to lead them yourself. 
Whether you lead a sneaker, or wait for others to play 
the suit, the chance of ruffing is much the same ; and 
the certainty of making a false lead, and the nearly 
equal certainty of deceiving your partner, are avoided. 

When a singleton comes off it may be nice, it is cer- 
tainly naughty : when, on the other hand, you have 
killed your partner's king, and he has afterwards got 
the lead, drawn the trumps, and returned your suit } 
should the adversaries make four or five tricks in it, 
you must not be surprised if he gives vent to a few 
cursory remarks.! 

With five trumps and no cards, lead a trump : you 
have made a true lead ; you have led not merely your 



* As defined by Capt. Corcoran, R.N. 

t To succeed with a singleton, (i) your partner must win the first 
trick in the suit, (2) he must return it at once. (3) on your next open- 
ing another unknown suit, he must again win the trick; and the odds 
against these combined events coming off are something considerable. 
Per confra, he will probably be beaten on the very first round ; and, 
even if he is not, it is extremely likely that he will either lead trumps 
— unless he is aware of your idiosyncrasy, when he will never know 
what to do — for what he imagines naturally is your strong suit, or open 
his own. At the same time, just as there are fagots, and fagots, so 
there, are singletons and singletons ; and a queen or knave is by no 
means such a villanous card as anything below a seven. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 23 

strongest suit, but a very strong suit ; and, if your 
partner has nothing, you will lose the game, whatever 
you play, but you will lose it on that account, and not 
because you led a trump, If you open any of the 
plain suits, you have made a false lead, and it is two 
to one the adversaries hold any one of them against 
your partner doing so.* 

With five trumps and other cards, a fortiori lead a 
trump. 

Towards the end of the game, you will find it laid 
down by some authorities, that if you hold nothing, 
and have the original lead, you should lead your best 
trump. Now, if that trump is of sufficient size to 
warn your partner that it is your best, this lead may 
not, under the circumstances, be much more injurious 
than any other : but an original trump lead is usually 
supposed to indicate either great strength in trumps 
or in plain suits ; and if your partner infers from the 
size of your trump, that your lead is from strength, 
and acting on that inference returns it, it is about the 
most murderous lead that can be made : having been 
two or three times the victim of such a lead as that, is 
almost as good a reason for not returning trumps, as 
sudden illness or not having one. 

* You will often be told, by the very people who will tell you to 
lead from five small cards in a plain suit, that to lead a trump from 
five is too dangerous ; but if you inquire in what way it is too danger- 
ous and receive any satisfactory reply, you will succeed in doing what 
I have never done yet. 



2 4 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY1 

If he holds seven tricks in his own hand he can 
make them at any time ; and any attempt of yours, 
however able, to deceive him at the outset will (to say 
the least of it) not assist him in doing so. 

Why add an additional element of confusion to the 
game ? Why should your partner have to say to him- 
self, as well as "Strong cards or Strong trumps," 
" Perhaps nothing at all" ? He is compelled to wait 
1 about to see what is the meaning of this lead : time is 
lost and an opportunity let slip which may never 
recur.* 

As a general principle, with the original lead and a 
very bad hand, it is advisable to efface yourself as much 
as possible : in such a case, I always have a strong 
desire to get under the table ; I don't know that it is 
contrary to either the laws or the etiquette of whist to 
do so, and I firmly believe it is a better course than 
leading the trey of trumps. At any rate, it is not for 
the weak hand to dictate how the game should be 
played; and to step boldly to the front, and lead a 
small trump for two, without a trick behind it, is in 
my ©pinion, the height of impertinence. 

At certain states of the score it may be imperative, 
in order to save the game, that you should place all 



* The bumblepuppist will observe here that time was made for 
slaves, but the apothegms on this subject are more numerous than he 
js aware of, 



WHIST, OR BUMnLEPUPPY? 2$ 

the remaining cards : but that is another matter alto- 
gether; and if you want to go into it, read Clay on 
the subject (p. 85), though he nowhere suggests that 
you should commence operations by placing thirty- 
eight unknown cards. 

If your partner has led you a trump, and you — 
holding ace, queen, to four or more — have made the 
queen, return the ace ; if you are playing bumble- 
puppy, return a small one : your partner, thinking the 
ace is against him, is almost certain to finesse and 
lose a trick; then call him names.* 

With ace, king, only, it is customary to lead first 
the ace and then the king : there is no authority for 
such a lead,f and nothing to be gained by it, except 
that by leading in this way you probably prevent 
your partner from signalling in the suit ; but, if you 
like to burden yourself with a useless anomaly, you 
can make a note of it (see p. 36). We started with 
the hypothesis, that- in the ordinary course of nature, 
you have fifty years before you; and if you wish to 
imbitter and shorten those years, you will invariably 
lead the lowest but one of five : it may be, and I am 
informed is, useful among a few assorted players, 

* The reason assigned by the perpetrator of this return is, that, as 
he originally held four, he is compelled to play the lowest, and it curi- 
ously exemplifies his inability to apply even the little knowledge he is 
possessed of. 

t Peccavi ! the lead is given in ° What to Lead," by Cam. 



$6 WHIST, OR BUMBLE PUPPY? 

" chock-full of science % ; but it is caviare to the gelt* 
eral,* and (unlike Wordsworth's Creature), — 

" Too bright and good 
For human nature's daily food." f 

In bumblepuppy all this is entirely different; you 
can lead anything you like, in any way you like ; here 
the safest lead is a long weak suit ; X the longer and 

* Never give '* the general " an opportunity for thinking if you can 
avoid it : this is a rule of universal application. il The opportunity to 
do ill deeds makes ill deeds done." 

t It was introduced as " a proposed extension of principle ; " but 
you had better stick to the old adage, " First catch your principle," 
and leave the extension of it to some future time. The theoretical 
advantages of this lead, and also the echo of the signal, ycu will find 
fully set forth in " Cavendish.' ' In a letter to The Field, Sept, 27, 
1879, he appears to advocate varying its monotony by occasionally 
leading the lowest but two. Another authority directs you to lead the 
lowest but one, only when you hold no honor in the suit. 

With regard to the echo, I have no head for intricate mathematical 
calculations, and therefore am unable to tell you about what trick 
everything would be, ready; but, speaking roughly, I should be afraid 
that for all practical purposes the hand would occasionally be over 
before the signaller and the echoer had completed their preparations- 
In the "Art of Practical Whist" you are recommended to lead the 
lowest but two of six. (The advice of Punch to those about tomarry 
is applicable here.) 

Mr. F. H. Lewis, in The Field, January, 1880, has propounded a 
scheme for subdividing the echo into categories ; and it has recently 
been pointed out to me, that by leading trumps in some irregular way 
— understood, I presume, by the inventor of the process — you can ex- 
plain to your partner that you originally held four. " Is there any- 
thing whereof it may be said, See, this is new ? it hath been already of 
old time-, which was before us." When all these improvements are in 
use, this is clear, the elect will return to that fine old practice known 
to our ancestors as "piping at whisk ;" the rest of us to primeval 
chaos. 

% With a weak partner, strengthening cards are either futile or dan- 
.« 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 27 

weaker it is, the less is your partner able to do you a 
mischief. You should also be very particular to lead 
the lowest but one of five :* it creates confusion, and 
under cover of that confusion you may make a trick or 
two. As to play false cards for the purpose of deceiving 
your partner is considered clever, a very little practice 
will enable you to play them with facility (with all 
deference to Bret Harte, for ways that are dark, the 
Heathen Chinee is not peculiar.) t 

It is also usual with ace to five or more trumps to 
lead the ace, and if you see — by killing your partner's 
king, or by his failing to play one — that he has no 
more, to try something else. 

You can also change the suit as often as you please: 
it is a fine mental exercise for your partner to recollect 
the remaining cards of four unfinished suits, all goii^g 
simultaneously. 

I often think, when I see this game in full blast, 
that whist-players are not sufficiently grateful to Charles 

gerous : as he will in all probability at once disembowel himself, the 
result of leading them is on all-fours with the Japanese Hari Kari. 

* " What with the ifs and the mystification that would occur from 
playing the cards in this erratic manner, we should do more to injure 
than improve the play in the present state of whist science" — Westminster 
Papers. [The Italics are mine.] 

t The ability to play false cards is not a proof of intelligence. " Cun- 
ning is often associated with a low type of intellect." — Report of In- 
spector- General 0/ Military Prisons.) If you read your natural history, 
you will find it is the weaker animals which betake themselves to 
anomalousmodes of defence ; though the cuttle-fish and the skunk may 
be much looked up to in their respective domestic circles, they are quite 
ou.t of place at the whist table. 



28 WHJS1\ OR BUMBLEPUPPY < 

the Sixth, or whatever other lunatic invented playing 
cards, for having limited himself to four suits : he 
might have devised six — but the idea is too horrible. * 

* " In the time of Charles the Sixth there were five suits." — Field* 
Jan. 17, 1880, This not only proves my ignorance, but my position; 
for if five suits have been tried, and found too much for human endu- 
rance, then six would manifestly have been quite too awful ! Q.E.D. 



Whist, or bumblepuppy* 



LECTURE IIL 

THE PLAY OF THE SECOND, THIRD, AND FOURTH 
HAND, 

"The play is the thing," — Shakspeare. 

Second hand with king and another, or queen and 
another, never play the honor either in trumps or 
plain suits, unless you particularly want the lead; and 
then you will probably not get it, and throw away a 
trick. 

By not playing the honor, — 
(i) The chance of making it is greater (this has 
been proved to demonstration by Mogul.) 

(2) The possible weakness of the third hand is ex- 
posed, — a very important point. 

(3) Your own weakness is concealed from the 
leader, and he is unable to finesse against your part- 
ner. 

These three reasons ought to be tolerably conclusive ; 
but, if a high card is led, head it ! 

If, holding knave, ten, and another, you are afraid 
of trumps being led, and your partner is devoid of 



3 o WHIST, OR BUMBLEBUPPY t 

common sense, don't play the ten, or it will be taken 
for a signal) that it neither is one, nor at all like one, 
does not affect the petrolater in the least) : it is 
almost equally dangerous with queen, knave, and 
another, to play the knave.* 

Except to save or win the game, whether you are 
weak in trumps, or strong, don't ruff a doubtful card 
unless you have a distinct idea what to do next : if 
you are only going to open a weak suit, let it go. 

Don't ruff a suit of which your partner clearly holds 
the best, in order to announce, urbi et otbi that you 
are weak in trumps : depend upon it mbis and 01 bis will 
take advantage of this, not to mention that you take 
the lead out of your partner's hand at a critical 
moment, and prevent his developing any game he may 
have. 

In bumblepuppy, with ace, king, and others, or king, 
queen, and others, the trick is often passed ; and with 
knave led, if the second player holds ace, queen, etc., 
he usually plays the queen : f holding the same cards, 

* A high card second hand has exactly the same effect on many 
players as a red rag on a bull ; and, if you have an objection to being 
gored, you should keep it out c£ their sight as long as possible — sub- 
ject to this important qualification, " Put an honor, on an honor with 
only three of a suit ; with four or more you should not do it." — 
Mathews. 

t " With ace, queen, etc., of a suit, of which your right-hand adver- 
sary leads the knave, put on the ace invariably. No good player with 
king, knave, ten, will begin with the knave : of course it is finessing 
against yourself to put on the queen, and as the king is certainly behind 
you, you give away at least the lead, without any possible advantage. J 
— Mathews. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY'i 31 

if instead of the knave a small card is led, he occa- 
sionally produces the ace. These proceedings may be 
the eccentricities of genius : if they are not, the only 
other reasonable motive I can suggest for them is a 
desire to lose a trick. 

Third hand : Don't finesse against your partner, 
unless you have reason to believe you are stronger 
in his own suit than he is, or that he has led from 
weakness. 

Don't finesse against yourself. If you have led 
from ace, knave, etc., and your partner has made the 
queen, the king is certainly not on your right. If, on 
the other hand, you have led from king, and your 
partner again has made the queen, it can be of no 
use to put on the king : the ace must be over you. 
Though Clay described the finesse obligatory before 
you were thought of, I am afraid that after you are 
forgotten, these simple cases will continue to be 
reversed, — that people will finesse against, and not 
for, themselves. (Note # , p. 21.) In bumblepuppy 
this is de rigueur ; also at this game, with king, queen, 

This advice as a rule is sound : but you must bear in mind, that, 
towards the end of a hand, the knave is often led from king, knave, ten 
or king, knave, alone ; and if you, holding ace, queen, are obliged to 
make two tricks in the suit, you will have to play the queen. If the 
king is held by your left hand adversary, yon will lose the game, what- 
ever you play. When you play the queen under these circumstances, 
and it comes off, don't imagine that you are inspired, or preternatural] y 
intelligent : you are only playing to the score ; and you will find that 
most instances of irregular play, which at first sight suggest inspira- 
tion, resolve themselves into this. 



%2 WHIST, OR B UMBLEB UPP Y ? 

and another in your partner's lead, it is customary 
to play the king, and, if it wins, to open a new suit. 

Ruff a winning card of the adversaries ! What pos- 
sible benefit can you derive from allowing your 
opponent to discard, and by the discard show his part- 
ner the suit he wishes led ? If you are too stingy to 
use a high trump, surely you might play a little one, 
just to keep the trick going.* 

When your partner has opened a suit with the ace, 
and on the third round eleven are out, he holds the 
other two ; and whenever he leads one of them — 
whether it is the queen or the four — it is a winning 
card. But if you fail to grasp this, and feel disposed 
to play the thirteenth trump on it, don't waste time 
either in invoking the immortal gods, inspecting the 
last trick, or looking preternaturally intelligent : trump 
it at once, and put him out of his misery. The idea is 
not new, for it occurred to Macbeth when about to 
perpetrate the very same coup :— 

" If 'twere done when 'tis done, then 'twere well 
It were done quickly." 

My only claim 13 to have expressed myself without 
such an involved use of auxiliary verbs. 

If you have more than two of the suit, don't play 
for the ace on your partner's knave ; it may be a short 
suit, or the head of a sequence, and you throw away 
the power of passing the ten second round : even if 

* " It is much better to play a small trump with the certainty it will 
be overtrumped, than to let the trick go." — Westminster Papers, 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 33 

it is from king, queen, knave, to five, there is nothing to 
be gained by covering ; with ace and another, win the 
trick, and return it at once, unless you lead trumps. 

Though frequently done, it is not good whist to 
decline to win a trick, either on the ground that you 
want a guard for your king of trumps, or because you 
hold six. In the other game both these proceedings 
would be correct. 

Fourth hand : Win the trick, and endeavor if pos- 
sible to do so without playing a false card. Like all 
things that are difficult at first, you will find it be- 
come 'comparatively easy by practice. You might 
suppose that the exponent of bubblepuppy — who 
always considers a trick of his own making worth at 
least two made by his partner— would get into no dif- 
ficulty here ; but he does. He has a firmly rooted 
belief that his strong suits are under the protection 
of a special Providence, which will never allow them 
to be ruffed ; and uttering his wretched shibboleth, 
" Play my ace, sir ? never ! " he contrives to lose any 
number of tricks by keeping up his winning cards to 
the last possible moment, and a shade longer. I 
imagine he is under the erroneous impression that 
this in some way compensates for cutting in with a 
small trump when he is not wanted.* 

* u It is a good plan, when you have the thirteenth trump, to pass 
winning cards, The reason of this is not apparent ; but in practice I 
know several players who do so, and in the multitude of counsellors 
there is wisdom." — Westminster Papers. 



34 WHIST. OR BUMBLEPUPPY1 



LECTURE IV. 

DISCARDING, AND ITS DIFFICULTIES. 

" This the vain purpose of his life to try,-*- 
Still to explore what still eludes his eye." 

Discards are of two distinct kinds : — 

(i) Ordinary. • 

(2) Forced. 

(1) when your partner, (2) when your adversary, 
shows strength. 

In the first case, you naturally point out to your 
partner which is your strong suit by discarding from 
your weak suits, your object being to win the game ; 
and there is an end of that matter. 2 * In the second 
case it is just the reverse: your discard from your 

* In ordinary discarding, your strong suit is your long suit : except 
to deceive your partner, it can be no use to discard from four or five 
sinall cards, in one suit, in order to keep king to three in another. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 35 

best guarded suit, by no means necessarily your 
strongest ; with a view, as far as you can, of blocking 
every suit, and so preventing the adversary from 
establishing his long cards. 

These two kinds of discards are, or ought to be, of 
importance to three very different classes of players :— • 

(1) The scientific. 

(2) The commonly decent. 

(5) The exponents of bumblepuppy. 

(1) The Scientic. — Here, with trumps declared 
against you, you discard, as already said, from your 
best guarded suit. Your partner knows this is prob- 
able, but he does not know how strong you are in 
that suit ; he also knows it may very possibly be a suit 
in which you hold three small cards ; and a second 
discard of it only gives him the further information 
that you had either three or five — he must infet from 
his own hand which : he assumes you did not origin- 
ally hold two, for you would not have left yourself 
entirely bare of the suit.* 

Among good players, then, the forced discard 
amounts to this : that though you are aware your part- 
ner is discarding with the best possible motives, and 
he is aware that you are doing the same, neither can 
depend upon the other's discard as showing anything 



* It is not everybody who is in the proud position I was once, when 
a trump being led by the adversary, I found myself with no trump, the 
best nine cards of one suit, and two other aces. 



3 6 WHIS T, OR B UMBLEPUPPY? 

for certain. With trumps declared against you, you 
must place unknown cards to the best of your ability ; 
and in such an unpleasant conjuncture, if you are ex- 
ceptionally fortunate, you may sometimes save the 
game, and the skill displayed in doing so may be a 
joy forever : — 

"Forsan et haec olim meminisse jubavit.-' * 

But when, on the other hand, you look at the im- 
probability of this coming off ; when you reflect that 
your partner has occasionally given you two discards, 
and that you, in the exercise of that right of private 
judgment inherent in every Protestant, led one of 
those very suits, and by doing so lost the game ; when 
you recall what then took place, the epea pteroenta, 
the mutual — But the subject is too painful : let us 
leave it, and pass on to 

Class 2. f This class has two divisions : they both 
see your discards, but — without any reference to their 
own hands or anything that has been played — one 
division assumes your discard is invariably from weak- 
ness, and at once knocks on the head the very suit 

* Observe the discretion of the poet in his choice of the word 
" forsan." 

t If there are a "few words" going about, and you are not con- 
cerned, don't put your oar in. 

" They who in quarrels interpose 
Must often wipe a bloody nose," 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 37 

you have sedulously been attempting to guard; the 
other has got hold of the pernicious axiom that the 
original discard is necessarily your strongest suit, and 
always leads that. 

Here we have again a pretty considerable element 
of confusion. 

Class 3. — These, with an unerring instinct that 
might almost be taken for genius,* will put you in a 
hole, whatever you do. The safest plan is, under all 
circumstances, to discard from your weakest suit : you 
cannot be cut to pieces there; and, whatever happens, 
you may have the letter of the law on your side. 
When you have not followed suit to the second round 
of the opponent's trumps, when, as a rule, your discard 
is of no importance to them, this is the only time they 
ever see it.t The number of times they will have 
that wretched trick turned, and their anxiety to be 
quite sure of the suit, are painful to the sensitive 
mind (especially if that sensitive mind is sitting oppo- 
site to them, and happens to belong to yourself). 
Well might Sophocles observe, "Many things are 
dreadful, but nothing is more dreadful than man." 



* Genius has been defined to be " an unlimited capacity for taking 
pains ," and the pains they will take to circumvent you are assuredly 
unlimited ; but their capacity for anything is so doubtful, that theii 
claim to genius on this score must be left in abeyance. 

t Having no winning cards in their own hands to attract their at- 
tention, they are able to devote a little time to seeing the cards on the 
table. 



38 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

That the first discard is from the weakest suit, is 
one of those half-dozen cast-iron rules — three of them 
wrong, and the remainder invariably misapplied — • 
which make up their stock-in-trade ; * but if they hold 
ace, king, queen, to five trumps, — say clubs, — you see 
them come well up to the table with an air of triumph 
and begin to lead. Again you don't follow suit : what 
do they care ? they drive gayly on ; but, as they finish 
the third round, the idea just begins to dawn upon 
them, — perhaps you have discarded something.! A 
careful inspection of the last trick affords them the 
pleasing intelligence that somebody has discarded a 
diamond, and somebody else a spade : the light fades 
from their eye, their jaw drops, and they are such a 
picture of hopeless misery, that if they were not in 
the habit of informing you — scores of times a day — 
that they play whist only for amusement, you might 
almost doubt the factt 

• The excitement of the moment has led me into exaggeration here. 
Let me give the bumblepuppist his due; the exact number is ten, as 
you will find later on. 

t The strong hand is leading trumps, and he gets them all out, and 
has the lead ; nine times out of ten he will have forgotten his part- 
ner's first discard, and play on. the assumptfon his last discard is his 
first ; and so certain is this to come about, that, we believe with some 
players, it is best to endeavor to calculate how many discards we shall 
get, and let the last discard be our weakest suit." — Westminster 
Papers. 

X If they were slightly to vary this statement, and say they pitched 
thirteen cards about only for their own amusement, the position would 
be much more inexpugnable. 

Unless my memory deceives me, in "The Whist Player," by Col. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 39 

After prolonged contemplation of the chandelier, 
and a farewell look at the spade and diamond, they 
eventually produce a heart, — your original discard f 
— have their remaining trumps drawn, and lose the 
game. 

Ordinary discards are simple in the extreme, and 
might be very useful ; unfortunately (as the general 
public will persist in confining its attention to its own 
hand, as long as there is anything in it), the only dis- 
card usually seen is the last, and this detracts from 
their utility. Forced discards are always difficult (not 
to the discarder, but his partner), and to a duffer un- 
intelligible, for this reason : they require common- 
sense. Far be it from me to teach it, — it is like 
poetry, " nascitur non fit ,•" and these remarks have 
not been made with any such intention, but to endeav- 
or to accentuate that Cavendish in his treatise on 
whist, and a letter which I append, lias said every- 
thing on the subject likely to be of use. 



Blyth, they are recommended to confine themselves to playing " Beg- 
gar my Neighbor" with their grandmothers. As most of those ladies 
must in the ordinary course of nature have gone over to the majority, 
this would be hard on them ; but they might adopt a middle course, 
and play that fascinating game with each other ; they could pitch the 
cards about equally well, and would have more cards to pitch. I shall 
resume this topic at the close of this lecture. 



4 o WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 



THE PRINCIPLES OF DISCARDING. 



" The old system of discarding, though unscientific, 
had at least the merit of extreme simplicity. It was 
just this : wherf not able to follow suit, let your first 
discard be from the weakest suit. Your partner in 
his subsequent leads is thus directed to your strong 
suit, and will refrain from leading the suit in which, 
by your original discard, you have told him you are 
weak.* 

" Several years ago some whist enthusiasts, amongst 
whom were Mogul and myself, played a number of 
experimental rubbers ; the cards of each hand being 
recorded as they were played, and the play being fully 
discussed afterwards. 

" In the course of the discussion it was observed 
first, I think, by Mogul, that in several hands the dis- 
card from a weak suit, when the adversaries had evi- 
dently in their hands the command of trumps, had re- 
sulted very disastrously.! This caused us to consider 

* Will he ? 

" Hope springs eternal in the human breast." 

And you can hope anything you like, if you don't mind the subsequent 
disappointment. First he has to see it ; and after you have got over 
that difficulty, if he only holds two small cards in that suit, and 
has a tenace in the other, — according to my experience, — he will lead 
his own. 

t Absorbed in their discoveries, they appear to have forgotten that 
r * vixerunt fortes ante Agamemnona. " 

" If weak in trumps, keep guard on your adversary's suits. If strong, 
throw awavfrom them." — Matthews. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 41 

whether the weak suit should not be protected under 
these circumstances ; and we finally came to the con- 
clusion that discards should be divided into two 
classes, viz., ordinary discards and forced discards. 
These I proceed to distinguish, 

" The reason a weak suit is chosen for the discard 
is, that, when a strong suit is broken into, the number 
of long cards, which might be brought in if the suit is 
ever established, are lessened, and so. many potential 
tricks are consequently lost. 

" But little harm, certainly none of this kind of 
harm, is done by throwing away from a weak suit ; in 
other words, from a suit that can never be brought in. 
But when the adversaries have declared great strength 
in trumps, the chance of bringing in a suit is reduced 
to a minimum. The small cards of your long suit are 
valueless to you, on the assumption that you can never 
bring it in. That suit will protect itself so far as its 
high cards are concerned, but the weak suits require 
protection. 

" Thus, by guarding honors, or by keeping four 
cards to a ten or nine, a trick is often won, or the 
establishment of an adverse suit prevented. It was 
this point, indeed, which first led us to condemn the 
invariable weak suit discard : the remark was fre- 
quently made, ' I was obliged to deceive you then, 
partner, and to throw my long suit in order to keep 



42 WHIST, OR BUMBLEfUFFY* 

my king guarded in another suit/ This, of course, 
when the game was in danger. 

"Honors in weak suits may be freely unguarded by 
the players who have strong trump hands, but the 
guards should be religiously preserved by those who 
are weak. Our discussions resulted in our laying 
down the following rules for our own guidance : viz., 
when you see from the fall of the cards that there is no 
probability of bringing in your own or your partner's 
long suity discard originally from your best protected 
suit. This I may call the foundation of the modern 
system of discarding : it has been adopted by all the 
best players with whom I am acquainted. 

" For the sake of having a short and easily remem- 
bered rule, however it is the fashion to say, - Discard 
originally from your strong suit when the adversaries 
lead trumps/* No doubt you will be right in your 
discard in most Cases, but this aphorism does not 

* That young and curly period, when I was influenced by the 
fashions, has passed away. Eheufiigaces, etc. It may be easier to re- 
member " strong " than " best protected," — one epithet is certainly 
three syllables shorter than the other ; but it seems a pity, for the sake 
of those three syllables, to use an expression which is utterly mislead- 
ing. 

In " The Art of Practical Whist," also, " strongest " is used with, 
out any qualification whatever. Although the Commination Service 
is seldom read now, — even if, like Royal Oak Day and Herr Von Joel, 
it should cease altogether to be retained by the Establishment, — to 
make the blind man go out of his way would still be inexpedient, unless 
you makeliim go out of your own way as well, for you may cut him for 
a partner ; if you have no respect for the blind, surely you have some 
regard for your pocket-money. 



WtiJM* t*R BtJMBLEPUPPY > 43 

truly express the conditions. [Query, then why use 
it?] . . . The conclusion I have arrived at is, 
that the modern system of discarding requires so 
much judgment in its application as to be rather a 
stumbling-block than in assistance to the ordinary 
run of players [rough on the neophyte!] This is a 
pity, as there can be no doubt that the classing of dis- 
cards into ordinary and forced is sound in principle, 
and adds beauty to the game. I have been prompted 
to write this letter in the hopes of seeing this classifi- 
cation more generally adopted, and its limitations 
more distinctly observed and acted on." — Cavendish. 
I have met with the same conclusion and the same 
regret in a metrical form : it is short, and may be use- 
ful to any of you troubled with bad memories : — 

" ' If seven maids, with seven mops, 

Swept it for a half a year, 
Do you suppose,' the walrus said, 

* That they could get it clear ? ' 
' 1 doubt ity said the carpenter, 

And shed a bitter tear. " 

[Resumption of Note J, p. 38.] 

PLAYING FOR AMUSEMENT. 

If this principle were carried out to its logical re- 
sult, and everybody played for amusement in the 
ludicrous sense in which this word is generally under- 
stood, it is manifest that — as no one would ever see 



44 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

either a card led or played, or know what suit was 
trumps — it would be useless continuing to ask each 
other for information on those abstruse points ; and 
unless, by some alteration in the laws of whist, an in- 
telligence department outside the table was provided 
to supplement the precarious knowledge acquired by 
looking at the last trick, the game would shortly col- 
lapse from its innate absurdity. Unfortunately we 
seldom arrive at this point : what usually takes place 
is this : — 

Four people sit down nominally to play whist, when 
suddenly one of them announces, to the consternation 
of his partner, that he is not there with any such in- 
tention, but solely for his own amusement : he alto- 
gether ignores the possibility of the others wishing to 
play whist for their amusement, and lays down his 
stale proposition with such an air of originality, that 
he often deludes the unwary bystander into the belief 
that he is somehow superhuman, and much superior 
to the other three, who are consequently looked down 
upon as mean and sordid individuals. This is not the 
case. If yelling when he is trodden upon, and crying 
if he loses, are proofs of humanity, he is essentially 
human. 

Now, no one has the slightest objection to your 
amusing yourself as long as you do not annoy any- 
body else. I go farther than this, and admit your ab- 
stract right to amuse yourself at your partner's ex- 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 45 

pense ; but I protest against your expecting him to 
rejoice with you in his own discomfiture. 

Because eels are accustomed to being skinned, it 
does not at all follow that they should like it : at any 
rate, whether they do so or not, it is not expected of 
them. 

Again, the practice of vivisection may be both a- 
musing and instructive to the vivisector, while it may 
be neither one nor the other to his victim. Though 
I have no practical acquaintance with this pursuit, I 
have often seen large portraits of the vivisectee pasted 
on hoardings; and judging from the expression of his 
countenance, and the uncomfortable position in which 
he is always depicted, I should imagine the entire pro- 
ceedings were supremely distasteful to him. 

From the time when Cain was short-coated, and tip- 
cats, pea-shooters, catapults, and other instruments of 
torture, appeared on the scene, there have been pecu- 
liar ideas of amusement. Fortunately — with the ex- 
ception of your doting mammas — public opinion has 
been against you : a gentleman found in the street with 
a tipcat imbedded in his eye is usually conducted to 
the nearest chemist, and the malefactor given in charge. 
(The crafty Ulysses, before he performed a very 
similar operation on Polyphemus, made every prepara- 
tion to escape from the room as soon as it was over, 
and took uncommonly good care not to originate the 



46 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

now trite witticism, " There you go with your eye out," 
till he was well beyond his reach : he was far too in- 
telligent a man to expect the Cyclops to take it pleas- 
antly.) But if this occurs at whist, and the victim 
even hints an objection, he is looked upon as a bear; 
and sometimes the verdict is, "Served him right," while 
at other times he seems to be expected to " rub it in." 
There I draw the line : annoy your partner as much 
as you like, but don't expect that ! It is contrary to na- 
ture. Still, while fully and freely admitting your right 
of annoyance, and also your right to throw away your 
own property if you please, you are not privileged to 
treat your partner's in the same way : this borders close* 
ly on theft; and before taking such a liberty, in order to 
be on the safe side, I think first you ought to obtain 
his consent in writing. It is all very well for Shak- 
speare to call his purse trash (he knew its contents, and 
his description may have been most accurate) ; but 
whether things are trash, or not, if they don't belong to 
you, you must not make away with them (as the poet 
himself experienced when he took to deer-stealing). 
And unless you wish, like him, to fall into the clutches 
of the criminal law, you had better take Captain 
Cuttle's advice, and overhaul your catechism, with spe- 
cial reference to ydnr duty to your neighbor : you will 
find it a safer guide. 

I ought to apologize for the length of this note : but 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEJPUPPYr 47 

I have suffered, myself ; and though I never killed an 
albatross, and am by nature most inoffensive, — 

"Since then at an uncertain hour 
That agony returns, 
And till my ghastly tale is told 
The heart within me burns." 



4 8 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 



LECTURE V. 

. THE PETER AND ITS PECULIARITIES. 
" Petrus nimium admiratur se." — Eton Grammar 

Some years ago a simple piece of mechanism, to 
which somehow or other very undue importance has 
been attached, was introduced to the whist world : 
you play a higher card before a lower one— unneces- 
sarily — to indicate that you hold good trumps, and 
want them out* 

You can want this for two reasons : — 
(i) Because you have the seven best trumps. There 
is no objection to your signalling here, though it is 
quite uncalled for : if you have the game in your own 
hand, you can either lead the lowest but two of six, 
stand on your head, or execute any other — what it is 
the odd fashion to call — convention the authority of 
the day may think fit to invent, as long as you do not 
come into collision with Law 5-t 

* The origin of the signal is as clear as mud ; and the very name of 
the inventor of the well known dodge of playing an unnecessarily high 
card to induce the opponents to lead him a trump, is lost in the mists 
of antiquity. 

f People do not seem at all agreed what a convention is. I used 



Will ST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY ? 49 

(2) Because you have a good trump hand, and the 
fall of the cards shows that unless you get them out, 
your or your partners winning cards will be ruffed. 
Here is a good legitimate reason ; but when every- 
thing is going nicely, and your partner making the 
tricks, that you should interfere with this merely be- 
cause you have five trumps, — or nine, for the matter 
of that, — is the height of absurdity. It may be an 
interesting fact for him to know, on the second round 
of a plain suit, that you hold five trumps, just as 
there are numerous other interesting facts which he 
may also ascertain at the same time, — e.g., that you 
have led a singleton, that you hold no honor in your 
own suit, and so on ; but none of them justifies him 
in ruining his own hand, and devoting his best trump 
to destruction. 

You ought to understand the signaller to say, "Get 

to be under the impression, myself, that it was an assembly of nota. 
bles, — a sort of liberal four hundred, or what I believe is called in 
America a caucus. It is described by Childe Harold as a dwarfish 
demon that foiled the knights in Marialva's dome ; while I find in 
The Fortnightly Review, April, 1879, " Conventions are certain modes 
of play established by preconcerted arrangement." By whom estab- 
lished, preconcerted, or arranged, is not mentioned ; and I am very 
much afraid that this definition leaves a loop-hole for winking at your 
partner when you want trumps led, — of course, " by preconcerted ar- 
rangement," — otherwise it would be unfair and (as he might mistake 
it for a nervous affection of the eyelid) absurd. At whist you can 
call anybody and anything whatever you please ; poets (also an irrita- 
ble race) have the same license ; and for general purposes, according 
to Mr. Squeers, there is no Act of Parliament against your calling a 
house an island ; but when you come to definitions, you must be more 
particular, or you will land in a hole. 



S@ WHIST, OR BUMBIEPUPPY? 

the lead at any cost the first moment you can, play 
your highest trump, and you shall see something re- 
markable." t 

When you find, as the result of your efforts, that 
that promised something is not uncommonly the loss 
of the rubber, though it will be a shock to you at first, 
you will soon get accustomed to it. 

It is even a dangerous practice to signal when the 
adversaries will jnost likely have the lead on its com- 
pletion : they at once adapt their play to the circum- 
stances. I have seen innumerable games not won, 
and many a game lost, by absurd signalling. Still, 
whist-players suffering from Peter on the brain con- 
stantly refuse to ruff a winning card in order to dis- 
close a signal in the discard : if they wanted trumps 
led, it occurs to the ordinary mind that the simplest 
plan would be to win the trick and lead them ; and, 
as they decline to do so, the only conclusion is, that 
they regard signalling for the mere sake of signalling 
to be in itself so noble an end, that to attain it, it is 
worth while to announce to their opponents that they 
had better save the game at once, and at the same 



* It is only right that I should state here that these are not modern 
opinions ; they are the opinions of Clay, and I am informed he is 
rapidly becoming obsolete. This may be the case. I know the prac- 
tice of numbers who call themselves whist-players is entirely opposed 
to his theory , still, though I don't like to prophesy (having a high re- 
spect for the proverb that it is dangerous to do so unless you know), 
I am open to make a small bet that the Peter is obsolete first. 



frlriST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 5 1 

time to present them with at least one trick towards 
it.* 

If you only want the odd trick, signalling is about 
the safest way to miss it. Any two decent players 
would, in a vast majority of cases, get on exactly as 
well if the Peter had never been invented ; while two 
bad players — assuming that they can possibly miss 
the game with all the trumps — generally do so by its 
assistance.! Where it would be useful is when, 
with moderate strength in trumps, and the cards de- 
clared in your favor, you want trumps led at all 
hazards. Unfortunately, if, at such a crisis as this, 

* I have seen a. player signal twice consecutively, and lose a treble 
each hand. 

" O scene surpassing fable, and yet true! " 

With the score three all, I have seen the original leader— holding 
ace, knave, nine, to five trumps, and the ten turned up — play a single- 
ton, knock his partner's king on the head, £nd then begin to signal, 
while the adversaries were making the next two tricks in that very 
suit; his partner ruffed the fourth, and, with king and queen of the two 
unopened suits, led the queen of trumps, killed the king in the second 
hand; and the signaller then proceeded to wait about, and, with all the 
remaining trumps on his right, eventually lost three by cards. 

I have seen another player of many years' standing, first lead a plain 
suit and then call; his partner echoed it, and they lost four by cards. 
And I have been told that some time after the table had broken up, and 
three of the party had left the house, one of the club servants, entering 
the card-room, found the fourth still sitting at the table, and continuing 
to signal. 

t " We do not know whether any one has ever kept a record of the 
number of tricks lost by Petering. During the past year, in the whist 
we have witnessed, we feel confident that more tricks have been lost 
than won by this practice/' — Westminster Papers. 



S 2 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYt 

your partner is not equal to leading them without a 
call, he is certain not to see it, although he is missing 
all the other points of the game in what he calls look- 
ing for it. This looking for a Peter is an oddly 
named and peculiar form of amusement, appertaining 
not only to bumblepuppy but also to whist. Among 
all those people who have attended the University 
Boat Race during the last half-century, I apprehend 
not one went to look for it : they went to see it. And 
just as you would see that race, so you should see the 
signal.. Never look/<?rit! look at it ! It is just as 
obvious as any other circumstance that occurs in the 
play : instead of this, after much looking, it is gener- 
ally overlooked altogether .* 

u Spectatum veniunt. veniunt spectentur ut ipsae," 

(" They come to look, and end by making spectacles of themselves.") 

If you must look for it, at any rate don't look for it 
in the last trick : you would scarcely look for the boat- 
race as you were going to church the next day. Still 
Cowper — though he clearly disapproves of the signal 
and calls it senseless — seems, if he is to be annoyed 
with it, to advocate this : 

*f 'Tis well if looked for at so late a day 
In the last scene of such a senseless play." 

* "They are looking for Peters and for the lowest but one; but 
they never think of the real points of the game." 

* They are always on the lookout for it, and they spend more time 
and trouble about the signal than about all the rest of the play."-r- 
Westminster Papers, 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY't 53 

What the signal for trumps ought to be, and what 
strength in trumps justifies a signal, are clearly laid 
down by Clay. 

If you see a call, and hold the ace and any number 
of trumps, play the ace, — there can be no danger of 
dropping your partner's king, — and, if you had origin- 
ally more than three, continue with the lowest; but 
if you are quite sure that leading trumps is the only 
way to miss or lose the game, don't lead them at all. 
This important fact is too much lost sight of, that the 
object of whist is not so much to lead the lowest but 
one of five, or to signal, as to win the game : these 
and other fads may or may not be the means to that 
end, but the end itself they are emphatically not. In 
their inception, at any rate, they were intended to be 
your instruments ; don't let this position be reversed . 
whether, like fire, they are always good servants, may 
be open to argument, but their resemblance in the 
other respect is perfect. 

One aspect of signalling has been overlooked in all 
the treatises on whist. I have seen a player of great 
common-sense and acute observation signal with three 
small trumps and a short suit, and by this means in- 
duce his watchful opponents to force him to make 
them all. I do not recommend such devious courses 
to you : even if they are lawful in a Christian country 
(of which I have doubts), they are only practicable 
when you are playing very good whist • and, this, as 



S4 WHIST, OR BUMBLEBUPPY ! 

Clay says, can only be the case when you thoroughly 
know your men. 

Hair-splitting about the legitimacy of the Peter is 
beyond the scope of these remarks ; but when Pro- 
fessor Pole — who appears to have been acquainted 
with the present mode of signalling for forty years 
Fortnightly Review, April, 1879), anc ^ f° r nmQ ^as 
advised learners : with five trumps always \o ask for 
them ("Theory of Whist, p. 65) — begins at this 
eleventh hour to find fault with the practice, and to 
have his suspicions that it is immoral, — this is the 
Gracchi complaining of sedition with a vengeance. 

." A merciful Providence fashioned him holler, 
A purpose that he might his principles swaller." 

In this year of grace, good players have long known 
that signalling is by no means an unmixed benefit, 
but rather an edge-tool dangerous to play with,* while 
it has been so long rampant that it has permeated 
the very lowest strata. If at such a time as this — 
when all the tenth-rate whist-players in Christendom 
and Jewry not only think they know all about it, but 
consider it in itself the quintessence of science ; when 
many of them, by constant practice, have actually 
acquired such skill that their hesitation in playing 

* Even in board schools, forcing the strong hand is a part of the or- 
dinary curriculum. 

" Always force the strong." — Mathews. 

There used to be some difficulty in ascertaining which was the strong 
trump hand, but the signal has done away with that. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYi 55 

first a ten and then a deuce is something scarcely per- 
ceptible — the professor imagines that any words of 
his can put a stop to it, his courage is only equalled 
by that of the well-known Mrs. Partington with her 
mop. A child may start an avalanche, but once 
started it runs its appointed course. 

In bumblepuppy the proceedings are so complicated 
and peculiar, they must be seen to be appreciated ; 
but there are four common forms you should be ac- 
quainted with. 

i. After you have had a lead or two, and got rid of 
your winning cards, you can begin signalling for 
somebody to lead a trump : * if somebody obliges you, 
and you win the trick, lead another suit, and wait till 
somebody else leads trumps again — continuing to sig- 
nal in the intervals. 

2. You can signal in your own lead, and I don't 
know that there is any objection to your expecting 
that your partner will attend to it — assuming he ever 
comprehends what you are driving at. 

3. You can signal without any trump at all. 

4. You can signal without intending to do so.* 

* " Many times this kind of signal comes after the player has had 
the lead, and when nothing of importance, speaking from our own 
knowledge, has taken place to justify a signal. We are very careless 
about leading trumps when our partner has had the chance, and did 
not lead them." 

" It is a sign of weak play if you first lead out your winning cards 
and then lead trumps: it shows ignorance of the principles of the 



56 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 



LECTURE VI. 

FALSE CARDS, LOGIC, LUCK. 

" And shall we turn our fangs and claws 
Upon our own selves without cause ? 
For what design, what interest, 
Can beast have to encounter beast." — Hudibras. 

There are three kinds of false cards : — 
(i) Those that deceive everybody ; 

(2) Those that deceive your opponents only ; 

(3) Those that deceive your partner only. And a 
sparing use of the two first- — especially towards the 

game. If it was advisable to lead trumps at all, it should be done be- 
fore you led out your winning cards. v — Westminister Papers. 

These are noble sentiments. How any sane human being can im- 
agine he has the right to tell me to destroy my hand and do for him — 
after he has drawn his own teeth — what he was afraid, before the op- 
eration, to do for himself, I have never been able to understand. 

* To obviate the evident disadvantages and mutual recriminations 
which might ensue from such vagaries, if you really intend to signal. 
it is usual to take the following precautions ; — 

1. Always signal with your highest card. 

2. Pause before you play it. 

3. Put it down not only with emphasis, but in a special corner of the 
table mutually agreed upon beforehand. (Note f, p. 48.) 

4. As soon as the trick is turned, ask to see it. (See note to Law 

91.) 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 57 

end of a hand — is often advantageous : * the third is 
sacred to bumblepuppy. 

One thing is very certain, — that the original leader 
is never justified in playing a false card. (Note *, p. 

17.) 

Clay's conclusion does not altogether harmonize 
with his premises, — a very unusual circumstance with 
him ; for after objecting strongly to false cards on 
high moral grounds, and prefacing his remarks by the 
expression of a touching belief that in no other posi- 
tion of life would anybody tell him what is untrue, 
he ultimately arrives at the delicious non sequitur y 
that if your partner is very bad or holds miser- 
ably weak cards, or towards the end of a hand, 
you may often play a false card with advantage. 
Why you should do what you know to be wrong 
because another person is bad or weak, or because 
you hold four cards and not thirteen, or even because 
such nefarious conduct may benefit yourself, he does 
not explain ; and, in default of that explanation, he 
appears stronger as a whist-player than a moralist 
But the logic of whist is a thing per se, utterly dis- 
similar to any known form of argument : * it finds 

* " When it is evident the winning cards are betwixt you and your 
adversaries, play an obscure game ; but as clear a one as possible if 
your partner has a good hand." — Mathews. 

* The defence is quite as singular as the attack. For instance, if 
you should ever be taken to task for any alleged criminality arising 
from defective vision, instead of making either of the obvious an- 
swers that it never took place at all, or that you regret it escaped your 



58 IVWSr, OP BUAtBL&P&PPYi 

vent in such syllogisms as, "You ought to have 
known I had all the spades, I led a diamond ; " or, 
(i I must have the entire suit of clubs, I discarded the 
deuce.'* Though the usual reply is, "The deuce you 
did, this is merely paltering with a serious subject : 
the only effective argument is to throw something at 
the speaker's' head,- — the argumentum ad hominem (of 
course this would create more or less unpleasantness 
at first, but the speaker would soon find his level if 
you hit him hard enough). " Unfortunately this dis- 
cipline, by which such persons were put to open pen- 
ance and punished in this world, — that others admon- 
ished by their example might be afraid to offend," — 
has fallen into desuetude : until the said discipline be 
restored again, which — although it is much to be 
wished *— can never be until the present reprehen- 
sible practice of screwing candlesticks, match-boxes, 
and all reasonable missiles into the table, be done 
away with, you have two courses open to you : — 
(i) You can give an evasive answer ; f 

notice, and will endeavor to keep a better lookout in future, the or- 
dinary plea in extenuation is "the noise in the room"; "because 
your cards are so bad," is often assigned as a satisfactory reason. 

* Even a few days of this discipline at the beginning of Lent would 
be better than nothing. 

t Evasive answers are of two kinds : those 

(i) For the ordinary platitude, of which you will find good exam, 
pies in " Card-Table Talk." 

(2) For the blatant absurdity: these are more difficult ; for, while 
modestly asserting your own individuality, you must at the same time 
guard against 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? ^ 

(2 You can pretend to be deaf : this is a capital 
plan, as it gives you the option either of being una- 
ware anybody spoke, or of totally misunderstanding 
him.* There is an utter inability to see that any ques- 
tion can possibly have two sides, evidenced by such re- 
marks as, " My finesse was justifiable, yours was bad 
play/' t The two prepositions,/^/ and propter, are 
constantly confounded together : it seems to be thought, 
that, because they both govern the accusative case, 
their meaning is identical, or, to speak more accu- 
rately, convertible. 

But you must be prepared to contend against other 
things besides false cards and curious logic. There 
is a fiend often reported to be present in the card- 
room, known by the name of " Luck ; " and you 
ought to be acquainted with two of the common strat- 
agems for circumventing him. It is by no means un- 

" Heating a furnace for your toe so not, 
That you do singe yourself." 

The following remark admirably fulfils both these conditions:— 

" « For the matter of that/ said Col. Quagg, ' Rot ! ' "— Sala. 

It should be addressed, kindly but firmly, to a point about eighteen 
inches above your partner's head. 

* A well-known whist-player who is really deaf is reported to aver 
that he never knew what comfort was till that misfortune befell him. 

f Bad play is any kind of solecism perpetrated by somebody else : if 
by yourself it may either be just your luck, pardonable inattention, 
playing too quickly, drawing the wrong card, or — -in a very extreme 
case — carelessness ; but it is never bad play. Sometimes the differ- 
ance is even greater than this; and what would be bad play in an- 
other, in yourself may be the acme of skill. 



60 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYi 

usual to see two obese elderly persons, — who have 
just lost a rubber by revoking, ruffing each other's 
winning cards with the thirteenth trump, forgetting 
to score honors, et id genus omne, — after first roundly 
anathematizing his malefic spirit, taking precautions 
against such things happening again by slowly and 
painfully rising from their respective chairs, and, at 
great personal inconvenience, changing places with 
each other: this is one way; another is to throw 
away several additional shillings in the purchase of 
new cards ; turning your chair round, and sitting 
down again, is also supposed to have an emolient 
tendency. 

That there is such a thing, — though stupidity is of- 
ten mistaken for it, — is, to my mind, as undoubted as 
that there are birds ; but whether one or the other is 
to be caught by putting salt on its tail, without taking 
other precautions, must be left to that right of private 
judgment already mentioned (p. 32). 

It is true the Swan of Avon sings,— 

" Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie, 
Which we ascribe to Heaven. " 

But he was only a literary person, not a whist-player ; 
and if a careful exercise of your judgment satisfies 
you that either new cards, or wearing out the seat of 
your knickerbockers by dodging from chair to chair, 
is a specific for want of memory and attention, so let 
it be : whatever conclusion you arrive at, it is your 
duty to respect your seniors. 



WHIST* OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 61 



LECTURE VII. 

WHIST AS AN INVESTMENT. 

*' None alive can truly tell 
What fortune they must see. — Sedley." 

In " The Art of Practical Whist " you will see 
capital invested in whist compared to consols. Don't 
run away with the idea that there is any such resem- 
blance : those numerous foreign securities or limited 
companies nearer home, where you receive no interest 
and lose your principal, or those public conveyances 
suggested by the elder Mr* Weller, would be closer 
analogues. 

Whist is not a certainty, neither is it true that you 
will every year find your account exactly square 
on the 31st of December: it is a popular fallacy de- 
vised by those who win, to keep the losers in good 
spirits. 

An old friend of mine — veracious as men go, and 
always considered of fairly sound mind and free from 
delusions, though a very inferior whist-player — has 



62 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPt/PPY? 

often assured me that he won over three thousand 
points for three years running (close on ten thousand 
in the aggregate.) If this statement is correct, and I 
have no reason to doubt it,- — I often played with him 
and he almost invariably won, — it is manifest that, 
after paying for the cards, some of us, when we called 
at the bank for our dividends, must have had to go 
empty away. 

I have played whist — club, domestic, or bumble- 
puppy — pretty regularly for a quarter of a century ; 
and the only conclusion I have arrived at so far is the 
very vague one that I shall either win or lose — I don't 
know at all which — for five years in succession, or 
multiples of five. 

For the first ten years I won considerably, for the 
next five I lost considerably, then for another five I 
won slightly, and the last five (I am thankful to say I 
am now getting well into the fifth) I have lost 
again.* 

I have no doubt things equalize themselves in the 
long run : the difficulty is that I am unable to give 
you any idea, even approximately, what the duration 
of a long run is.t 

* To the sneer that I lose now because I play worse, I reply, it is 
quite possible I do not play so well as I did five years ago ; I make the 
sneerer a present of the admission. But I play better than I did 
twenty years ago : when playing against as good a players as I do now, 
if I did not win every time I sat down, I was astonished. 

t "An experiment that does not go on to millions is very little use in 
determining such propositions. It can be demonstrated to the satis- 



_ WHIS i\ OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 63 

During a part of that first period, extending over a 
year and a quarter, I played long whist — five points to 
the bumper — more than fifty times, and never but 
once won less than twelve points. If we may believe 
Herodotus, in his day the end was not always visible 
from the beginning ; and so it is now. I have won 
rubbers against all the cards, and with all the cards I 
have lost them. 

Sometimes I cannot lose a rubber, sometimes I 
cannot win one ; at one time cards will beat their 
makers, at another the makers will beat the cards ; 
and these results occur without rhyme or reason, in 
defiance of any system of play. Don't imagine for a 
moment that I suggest play is of no consequence : I 
merely say that you will frequently see the cards or 
the players run wild, and that the actual result — win- 
ning or losing — is beyond your own control. 

I have known twenty-four successive rubbers lost, 
and I have won seventeen more than once. I have 
lost nine hundred and thirty points in two months, 
and a hundred and fifty-four in two days. I have lost 
a bumper in two deals, holding one trump in each 

faction of every one, that the odds, after having won the first game in 
a rubber, in favor of winning one of the next two games, is three to 
one. Yet Mr. Clay considered that five to two was a bad bet : and we 
have lost not only at five to two, but at two to one, and on one occa- 
sion we actually lost the long odds in two hundred bets, a hundred and 
three times : so that, if we were to take this result as o* any value, the 

odds would be slightly in favor of losing a rubber when you had won 
the first game, which is absurd." — Westminster Papers, 



64 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

hand ; and with the same partner, the same seats, 
and the same cards won the next rubber but one in 
two deals, again holding one trump in each hand. 

I have seen a player with no trump and no winning 
card lose a treble, and the very next hand, again with 
no trump and no winning card, — assisted to some ex- 
tent by his partner, — score nine ; and on one melan- 
choly occasion my partner and myself were unable to 
raise a trump between us. 

I have held three Yarboroughs in two hours (a Yar- 
borough is a hand containing no card above a nine), 
and a hand with no card above a seven at least twice.* 
With ace, knave, to five trumps, two kings, and 
trumps led up to me, I have lost five by cards ; and 
with queen, knave, ten, eight, three, two, diamonds 
(trumps)., spade king, ace and king of hearts, ace, king, 
queen, and another club, and the original lead, I lost 
the odd trick, 

I have played a set match ; and although I never 
bet, as I fancied we had a shade the best of the play, 
and the other side made the liberal offer of six to four, 
it tempted me : I took it, and won five rubbers run- 
ning. I once cut about the best player I know six 
times consecutively. My partner laid six to five to 
commence with , and as we won the first game — a 
single — he gave five to two ; and that was the only 
game we won in those six rubbers. Busses — not 

* There was a hand recently at Surbiton with no card above a six. 



WHIST, OR B UMBLE PUPPY? ^ 

unds — is much nearer the mark. Irrespective of the 
time of day, you can either go to bed when you have 
won two rubbers, or when you have lost them ; you 
can persevere to the bitter end, either when you are 
winning, or when you are losing; you can take any of 
the measures mentioned in the last lecture, or adopt 
any other system you please. But there is one rule 
with no exception : though no earthly power can pre- 
vent your winning or losing, the actual moment of 
that gain or loss always depends upon yourself and 
your partner. If you should ever lose eighty or a 
hundred points at one sitting, that deplorable result 
will never take place without your active connivance; 
a trick lost here, and a trick lost there, an exposed 
card, or something of that kind, — the consequence of 
which is always intensified when you are losing,— -will 
just make the difference, every now and then, between 
winning and losing a rubber. 

During the bad forty-eight hours I had when I lost 
a hundred and fifty-four points, I was attending care- 
fully to the play : the cards were abominable ; and, 
making no allowances for what might have happened 
if my partner and I had only been omniscient, simple 
liUiw mistakes of the kind just mentioned accounted 
for thirty-two of those points. 

If there is such a thing as luck, — and I believe there 
is, — don't lie down, and let it kick you. 

Always play with reasonable care and attention : if 



66 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

a thing is worth doing at all, it is worth doing well ; 
and when you hold cards wftiich you do not consider 
quite equal to your deserts, instead of playing worse 
on that account, — as most people do, — take a little 
extra care. 

If your pocket-money gives out, or you feel that your 
cards are too bad for endurance, give up playing al- 
together : but, if you continue to play, don't accen- 
tuate your misfortunes by your own shortcomings ; it 
is bad enough to retire to your crib with empty 
pockets, without a guilty conscience in addition. 



3 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 67 



LECTURE VIII. 

ON THINGS IN GENERAL. 

r 'The time has come/ the walrus sa*d, 
' To talk of many things.' " 

To become a fair whist-player,* no wonderful attri- 
butes are required : common-sense, a small amount of 
knowledge, — easily acquired, — ordinary observation of 
facts as they occiu y and experience, the result of that 
observation, — not the experience obtained by repeat- 
ing the same idiotic mistakes year after year, — are 
about all. To save you trouble, the experience of all 
the best players for the last hundred years has been 
collected into a series of maxims which you will find 
in any whist-book : these maxims you should know ;f 

* Not a fine whist-player ; for this is a rare bird, much more rare 
than a black swan (these can be bought any day at Jamrach's by the 
couple, but even in the present hard times, when, I am informed, the 
markets are glutted with everything, he has not one fine whist-player 
in stock) : to him, in addition to common sense and attention, genius 
and a thorough knowledge of Cavendish are essential. 

t u Although these maxims may occasionally speak of things never 
to be done, and others always to be done, you must remember that no 
rules are without exception, and few more open to exceptional cases 
than rules for whist." — Clay. 



6S WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY* 

but though you know every maxim that ever was 
written, and are " bland, passionate, deeply religious, 
and also paint beautifully in water-colors/*' if among 
your other virtues the power of assimilating facts as 
they occur is not included, this will not avail you in 
the least. 

Bumblepuppy — according to its own account — de- 
mands much more superfine qualities : e.g., inspira- 
tion, second-sight, instinct, and intuitive perception 
of false cards and singletons, and an intimate acquain- 
tance with a mysterious and Protean bogey called 
" the game, 5 '— in short, everything but reason* (all 
these fine words, when boiled and peeled, turn out 
sometimes to mean ordinary observation, but more 
usually gross ignorance). So much for its theory : its 
practice is this : — 

PRACTICE OF BUMBLEPUPPY. 

" This is an anti-Christian game, 
Unlawful both in thing and name." — Hudibras, 

(i) Lead a singleton whenever you have one. 
(2) With two small trumps and no winning card* 
lead a trump. 

* Just as orthodoxy has been defined to be your own doxy, so " the 
game" usually means " your own idea of the game at the time." 

I have called it Protean because it assumes so many different forms 
(being mainly based on results), and, like the nigger's little pig, runs 
about to such an extent that it is impossible to get a clear view of it. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLBPUPPY1 69 

(3) Ruff a suit of which your partner clearly holds 
the best, if you are weak in trumps. 

(4) Never ruff anything if you are strong. 

(5) Never return your partner's trump if you can 
possibly avoid it, unless he manifestly led it to bring 
in a suit of which you led a singleton. 

(6) Deceive him whenever you get a chance. 

(7) Open a new suit every time you have the lead. 

(8) Never pay any attention to your partner's first 
discard, unless it is a forced discard (p. 50). Lead 
your own suit, 

(9) Never force him under any circumstances un- 
less you hold at least five trumps with two honors ; 
even if you lose the rubber by it, play " the game ! " 

(10) Devote all your remaining energies to looking 
for a signal in the last trick : if you are unable to dis- 
cover which was your partner's card, — after keeping 
the table waiting for two minutes, — lead him a trump 
on suspicion. 



Play all your cards alike, without emphasis or hesi- 
tation : how can you expect your partner to have any 
confidence in your play when it is evident to him 
from your hesitation that you have no confidence in it 
yourself ? 

If your partner renounces, and you think fit to in- 



7o ' WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

quire whether he is void of the suit, do so quietly: 
don't offer a. hint for his future guidance by glaring 
or yelling at him. 

Don't ask idiotic questions : if you led an ace, and 
the two, three, and four are played to the trick, what 
is the use of asking your partner to draw his card ? If 
you hold all the remaining cards of a suit, why inquire 
whether he has any ? 

Don't talk in the middle of the hand * However 
you may be tempted to use bad language, — and I 
must admit the temptation is often very great, — al- 
ways recollect that though your Latin grammar says 
" humanum est irasci," the antidote grows near the 
bane ; for— at the bottom of the very preceding page 
—it also says "pii orant taciti." The wisest man 

'*' 'Tis best sometimes your censure to restrain." — Pope. 

who ever lived says, " He that holdeth his peace is 
counted wise, and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed 
a man of understanding." Such a reputation appears 

* Though " whist'' is reported to be an old English word meaning 
" silence,' ' and though it is advisable for many reasons that it should 
be played with reasonable quiet, it is not at all compulsory to conduct 
yourself as if in the monastery of La Trappe : you have a perfect 
right — as far as the laws of whist are concerned — to discuss at any 
time the price of stocks, the latest scandal, or even the play going on, 
" provided that no intimation whatever, by word or gesture, be given 
as to the state of your own hand or the game." — Etiquettt of Whist. 

At bumblepuppy you had better waive this right altogether ; for if 
under any circumstances you open your mouth, you will infallibly put 
your foot into it. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? j t 

cheap at the price ; but if you are of the opinion of 
J. P. Robinson, that "they didn't know everything 
down in Judee," you can call your partner any names 
you like as soon as the hand is over.* You need not 
be at all particular what for : any crime of omission 
or commission — real or fancied — will do. If, after 
the game is over, you discover that it might have been 
saved or won by doing something different, however 
idiotic, grumble at him.t 

* " Avoid playing with those who instruct, or rather find fault, while 
the hand is playing. They are generally unqualified by ignorance, and 
judge from consequences ; but, if not, advice while playing does more 
harm than good." — Mathews. 

"The empty vessel makes the greatest sound." — Shakspeare. 

" Talking over the hand after it has been played is not uncommonly 
called a bad habit and an'annoyance ; I am firmly persuaded it is one 
of the readiest ways of learning whist." — Clay. 

t " * O dreary life ! ' we cry, ' O dreary life ! ' 
And still the generations of the birds 
Sing through our sighing, and the flocks and herds 
Serenely live while we are keeping strife.' ' 
16 The education of the whist-player is peculiar. How he becomes a 
whist-player, nobody knows. He never learns his alphabet or the cate- 
chism, or anything that he ought to do. He appears full-grown, 
mushroom like. He remembers some one blowing him up for doing 
something he ought not to have done, and somebody else blowing him 
up for not doing something else ; and he is blown up to the end of the 
chapter. This phase of being blown up is varied by grumbling, some- 
times aloud, sometimes sotto voce ; so that the whist-player is reared on 
scolding and grumbling as other youngsters are reared on pap. Truly 
this is a happy life. Some men grumble on principle because it is a 
national privilege, and they avail themselves of the Englishman's 
birthright. 

' A sect whose chief devotion lies 
In odd perverse antipathies ; 
In falling out with that or this, 
And finding somewhat still amiss ; 



72 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY! 

It is quite legitimate to revile him for not playing 
cards he never held : if he should have the temerity 
to point out that the facts are against you, revile the 
facts. 

If there is really a diabolical mistake in the case, 
and you happen to have made it yourself, revile him 
with additional ferocity. 

Failing any other grievance, you can always prove 
to demonstration — and at interminable length — that 
if his cards, or both your cards, had been just the 
reverse of what they were, the result would have been 
different. This certainly opens a wide field for spec- 
ulation ; but it is neither an instructive nor enter- 
taining amusement, though it kill-time. 

There is a theory, which, according to some evil- 
disposed persons, may easily be made too much of, — 
the injury to yourself being remote and doubtful, 
while the gratification of annoying him is certain and 
immediate, — that abusing your partner, as having a 
tendency to make him play worse, is a mistake from a 
pecuniary point of view. Of course it is a mistake, 

More peevish, cross, and splenetic 

Than dog distract, or monkey sick/ — Hudibras. 

Some do it because they believe, that, if they grumble enough, it 
will bring them luck. Some do it in the hope that they will excite 
sympathy, and that their friends will feel for their ill-fortune, which, 
by the by, whist-players never do. Some grumble to annoy their 
friends, and we are bound to say these succeed." — Westmitister Papers. 

"The croaking nuisance lurked in every nook ; 
And the land stank — so numerous was the fry." — Cowper. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 73 

but not for such a paltry reason as that : take a higher 
standpoint ! Whether you are winning or losing/ — 

" You should never let 
Your angry passions rise." — Watts, 

Don't cry ! 

" 111 betides a nation when 

She sees the tears of bearded men." 

And you will have a beard yourself some time, if you 
don't lead the penultimate of five (see p. 25). Without 
exciting the slightest sympathy on the part of an un- 
feeling public, crying deranges the other secretions. 
The Laureate says tears are idle, and professes igno- 
rance of their meaning : if he played whist, he would 
know that they injure the cards and make them sticky. 

Don't play out of your turn, nor draw your card 
before that turn comes: 

Don't ride a hobby to death ! In ordinary whist 
three prevailing hobbies are so cruelly over-ridden 
that I am surprised the active and energetic Mr. 
Colam has never interfered : these are, — 

(1) The penultimate of a long suit ; 

(2) The signal for trumps ; 

(3) Not forcing your partner unless you are strong 
in trumps — under any circumstances. 

The first is nothing but a nuisance.* The second 

* **• They are intent on some wretched crotchet like the lowest but 
one." 

u Every time he can lead a lowest but one, no matter what the state 
of the game or the score, that lead he is sure to make ; and we believe 
there are some neophytes who would lose their money with pleasure 
if they could only tell their partners afterwards that they had led the 
lowest but one." — Westminster Papers, 



74 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

is stated to simplify the game, and to cause greater 
attention to be paid to it : practically the entire time 
of the players is taken up either in devising absurd 
signals, or in looking for and failing to see them. The 
third is responsible for losing about as many games 
as anything I am acquainted with, though the constant 
and aimless changing of suits runs it close. 

Is it any reason— because you have no trumps — 
that you should announce that circumstance early in 
the hand to the general public, and prevent your 
partner making one ? If he has them all, you cannot 
injure him ; if he has not, the adversaries will play 
through him and strangle him : how is it that you 
are afraid to let your partner make a certain trick, but 
you are never afraid to open a new suit ? 

There is an impression abroad that there is a law 
of whist somewhere to this effect : " Never force 
your partner at any stage of the game unless you 
yourself are strong in trumps." 

Let us see what the authorities say on the point. 
" Keep in mind that general maxims pre-suppose the 
game and hand at their commencement, and that 
material changes in them frequently require that a 
different mode of play should be adopted." " It is a 
general maxim not to force your partner unless strong 
in trumps yourself. There are, however, many ex- 
ceptions to this rule ; as, — 

(t (i) If your partner has led a single card ; 



WmST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYt 75 

" (2) If it saves or wins a particular point ; 

" (3) If great strength in trumps is declared against 
you; 

" (4) If you nave a probability of a saw , 

" (5) If your partner has been forced, and did not 
lead trumps ; 

" (6) It is often right in playing for an odd trick. 

" If your partner shows a weak game, force him 
whether or not you are otherwise entitled to do it." — 
Mathews. 

With a weak trump hand, force your partner,-- 

" (1) When he* has already shown a desire to be 
forced, or weakness in trumps ; 

" (2) When you have a cross ruff ; 

" (3) When you are playing a close game, as for 
the odd trick, and often when one trick saves or wins 
the game or a point ; 

"(4) When great strength in trumps has been 
declared against you.'' — Cavendish. 

" Do not force your partner unless to make sure of 
the tricks required to save or win the game ; 

" Or unless he has been already forced, and has not 
led a trump ; 

" Or unless he has asked to be forced by leading 
from a single card, or two weak cards ; 

" Or unless the adversary has led, or asked for 

trumps." — Clay. 

« 

" Unless your partner has shown great strength in 



? 6 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

trumps, or a wish to get them drawn, or has refused 
to ruff a doubtful card, give him the option of making 
a small trump; unless you have some good reason 
for not doing so, other than a weak suit of trumps in 
your own hand." — Art of Practical W/nst. 

With these extracts before you, perhaps you will 
dismiss from your mind the popular fallacy that you 
are under any compulsion to lose the game because 
your trumps are not quite so strong as you could 
wish. 

Make a note of this. 

Maxims were not invented for the purpose of pre- 
venting you from either saving or winning the game, 
though it is their unfortunate fate to be epitomized 
and perverted out of all reasonable shape. The ill- 
advised dictum, " Suppose the adversaries are four, 
and you, with the lead, have a bad hand : the best 
play is, in defiance of all system, to lead out your best 
trump," was comparatively innocuous, till some inge- 
nious person, with a turn for abbreviation, altered it 
into, "Whenever you hold nothing lead a trump ! " 
Use your common sense.* 

I have gone into this matter at considerable length, 
because I am convinced that however many people, 
once affluent, are now in misery and want, owing to 

* " Common-sense (which in truth is very uncommon) is the best 
sense I know of. Abide by it: it will counsel ybu btestL"— Chester field* s 
Leitifrs. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? yj 

their not having led trumps, with five, — Clay gave the 
number as eleven thousand, — afar larger number have 
been reduced to this deplorable condition by changing 
suits, and refusing on principle to save the game by 
forcing their partner. 

Before quitting the subject, there is another 
branch of it worthy of a little consideration. When 
your partner has shown by his discard which is his 
suit, and you hold two or three small cards in it, how- 
ever strong you may be in trumps,— unless every 
thing depends on one trick, — do you expect to gain much 
by forcing him and making yourself third player ? 
Though it is usual to play in this absurd way, is there 
any objection to first playing his suit, and — as, ex 
hypothesi, you are strong in trumps — forcing him af- 
terwards ? 

Play always as simply and intelligibly as you can. * 
Never think ? f Know ! Leave thinking to the 
Teuton. 

" A Briton knows ; or, if he knows it not, 
He ought." — Cowper. 

* In addition to your partner not being able to see your cards — in 
itself a disadvantage — he is, by an immutable law of nature, much in- 
ferior in perception to yourself : you should bear this in mind, and 
not be too hard on the poor fellow. 

t This is at first sight rather an appalling proposition, but the advice 
I give you I have always endeavored to follow myself; and I am not 
a solitary case, for in " The Nineteenth-Century Review for May, 
1879, * fi nc * the writer of one of the articles in the same boat. This 
thoughtful writer — he must have been thoughtful, otherwise his lucu- 
bration would not have been accepted — says, -' I have given up the 
practice of thinking* or it may be I never had it" 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

After the game has begun, the time for thinking 
has passed : as soon as a card is led, it is the time 
for action, the time to bring your previously acquired 
knowledge to bear. 

P.S. — When pointing out your rights, I omitted to 
state, that, before you proceed to give your partner a 
piece of your mind, you should always call your 
honors ; for by neglecting this simple precaution you 
will often lay yourself open to a crushing rejoinder, — 
Experto crede. 



WMIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYt jg 



LECTURE IX. 

THINKING. 
" With some unmeaning thing, that they call thought" — Pope. 

Never think ! 

Unless you have some remarkably good reason for 
taking your own course, do as you are told. If your 
partner leads you a small trump, return it at once. 

" Gratia ab officio, quod mora tardat, abest." 

This a much more simple and satisfactory plan than 
to proceed to think that he may have no more, or 
that the fourth player must?*hold major tenace. No 
one will admit more readily than I do, that you are 
much the better player of the two (Note % p. 77) : 
still allow him to have some idea of the state of his 
own hand. 

Don't think, whenever you see a card played, that 
it is necessarily false : as, on the whole, true cards are 
in the majority, you are rather more likely to be 
wrong than right, and the betting must be against 
you in the long-run. 

" My business and your own is not to inquire 
Into such matters, but to mind our cue, — 
Which is to act as we are bid to do." — Byron.. 



So WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPJPY? 

If you are blessed with a sufficiently sharp eye to 
the left, you may occasionally know that a card is 
false ; but I should not describe knowledge acquired 
in that way as thinking, I should use quite a different 
expression. 

With the military gentleman who anathematized in- 
tellect, I deeply sympathize. Profound thought about 
facts which have just taken place under your own eye 
is the bane of whist. 

Why imitate Mark Twain's fiery steed? Why, 
when it is your business to go on, . " lean your head 
against something, and think? " 

Whether you have seen a thing, or not seen it, 
there can be no necessity for thought. Recondite 
questions— such as whether the seven is the best of a 
suit of which all the others but the six are out, or 
whether a card is the twelfth or thirteenth — can be 
answered by a rational being in two ways, and two 
only : either he knows, or he does not know ; there 
is no tertium quid. The curious practice of gazing 
intently at the chandelier, and looking as intelligent 
as nature will permit, — if not more so, — though it is 
less confusing than going to the last trick for infor- 
mation, and imposes upon some people, is no answer 
at all:* this, in whist circles, is called, or miscalled 
thinking. It is not a new invention, for it has been 

* Making passes in the air with your hand, as if you were about to 
mesmerize the table, is another favorite stratagem. 



WBIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPy t 8t 

known and practised from the earliest times. " There 
is a generation, oh, how lofty are their eyes ! and 
their eyelids are lifted up " (Prov. xxx. 13, B.C. 1000, 
Pecksniff, who had an extensive acquaintance with 
the weaknesses of human nature, knew it : you, and 
all other schoolboys are adepts at it. 

In Greek the very name of man — — was 

derived from this peculiar method of feigning intelli- 
gence, and it was by no means unknown to the Ro- 
mans. 

" Pronaque cum spectant animalia costera terram, 
Os homini sublime dedit coelumque tueri." 

But, however ancient and venerable the practice may 
be, it is one of those numerous practices more hon- 
ored in the breach than in the observance. Surely* 
looking at the table is more in accordance with the 
dictates of common sense than attempting to elimi- 
nate unknown quantities from a chandelier. In the 
one you have gas, and probably water ; on the other, 
lying open before you, — the data required. I have 
now endeavored, not to teach you either whist or 
bumblepuppy, but to point out a few of the differences 
between them, and to start you on the right road. 
The first is a game of reason and common sense 
played in combination with your partner : the second 
is a game of inspiration, haphazard, and absurdity, 
where your partner is your deadliest enemy. I have 
made a few extracts from Mathews : partly because I 



82 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYt 

doir t like novelties merely because they are novelties ; 
partly to convince the bumblepuppist (if anything 
will convince him) that when he tells me the recog- 
nized play is a new invention, introduced by Caven- 
dish for his especial annoyance, he does not know 
what he is talking about ; and partly to show you that 
since that book was written—eighty years ago — the 
main principles of whist are almost unaltered. 

The chapter on etiquette is since his time ; but, 
though the game has been cut down one-half, take 
away from Mathews his slight partiality for sneakers 
(to be accounted for by the possibility of his partner 
at that remote period being even a more dangerous 
lunatic than yours is at present, and the consequent 
necessity of playing more on the defensive ; for lead- 
ing singletons, whatever else it may do, does not 
injure the leader),* take away from the play of to-day 
its signal, its echo, and its penultimate of a long suit, 
— all excrescences of doubtful advantage for general 
purposes, and the last two more adapted to that ante- 
diluvian epoch when human life was longer, —and the 
continuity of the game is clear.f Whether whist 

* The difference here is more apparent than real .• Mathews, with 
considerable limitations, advocates leading singletons. Nowadays 
the practice is decried ; but I regret to say, that, as far as my expe- 
rience goes, the principal obstacle to leading a singleton is not having 
a singleton to lead. 

f " We suspect that Cavendish very often must have objected to 
that ancient plagiarist Mathews for stealing his ideas." 



WII7ST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? ^ 

would gain anything by their omission, I am unable 
to say. The attention now always on the strain in 
looking for its accidents would have a spare moment 
or two to devote to its essentials : whether it would do 
anything of the kind, is another matter. 

Those followers of Darwin and believers in the doc- 
trine of evolution, to whom it is a source of comfort 
that an ascidian monad and not Eve was their first 
parent, must find the whist-table rather a stumbling 
block: they will see there uncommonly few specimens 
of the survival of the fittest. 

The philosopher of Chelsea long since arrived at 
the unsatisfactory and sweeping conclusion, that the 
population of these islands are mostly fools ; and he. 
has made no exception for the votaries of whist. 
Still, it has the reputation of being a very pretty 
game, though this reputation must be based to a 
great extent on conjecture ; for, apart from its other 
little peculiarities, — on some of which I have briefly 
touched, — its features are so fearfully disfigured by 
bumblepuppy, that it is as difficult to give a positive 
opinion as to say whether a woman suffering from 
a malignant small-pox might or might not be good 



" If their ideas are not identical, it is rather difficult to find where 
the one begins, and the -other ends." — Westminster Papers. 

" 1 contend that there is no essential difference between modern 
and old-fashioned whist ; i.e., between Hoyle and Cavendish, Mathews 
and J. C. — Mogul. 



§4: WHIST, OR BUMBLRBUPPY! 

looking under happier circumstances. The sublime 
self-confidence expressed in the distich, — 

4 ' When I see thee as thou art, 
I'll praise thee as I ought,"— 

has not been vouchsafed to me ; but if ever I obtain 
a clear view of it, I will undertake to report upon it 
to the best of my ability. 

You may have heard, that if you are ignorant of 
whist you are preparing for yourself a miserable old 
age : it is by no means certain that a knowledge of it 
—as practised at this particular epoch— is to be 
classed with the beatitudes. 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 85 



LECTURE X. 

DETERIORATION OF WHIST: ITS CAUSES AND CURE. 
11 Past and to come seem best ; things present, worst." — Shakspeare. 

In my time I believe whist has, on the whole, de- 
teriorated * It mistakes means for ends, is more 
tricky, more difficult, more cantankerous. With re- 
gard to common mistakes, — inability to hold a few 
cards without dropping them on the table, or to play 
them one at a time ; inability to count thirteen, to 
recollect the best card, or whether it was your oppo- 
nents, your partner, or yourself, who first led a suit ; 
winning your partner's trick, or not winning your ad- 
versary's ; leading out of turn, revoking, and so on, — 
there is not much difference. 

As long as I can recollect, whist has been gorged 

* " The game is not the simple and straightforward game it was : 
it is more erratic and more difficult." 

" Whist is more and more, and year by year, a game of brag, a 
game for gambling, a game in which we have to study the idiosyncrasies 
of the players as well as the cards themselves. We have to deduct 
from imperfect data, and when our inference is wrong we have a great 
chance of a scolding from an infuriated partner." 

"Modern whist in a nut-shell ; signs and signals and a short sup- 
ply of \xzins."~Htetmi*jte7' Papers. 



S6 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

with these; and neither the hydraulic ram, nor anj 
other of the improved mechanical appliances of the 
present day, can squeeze more into a thing than it will 
hold. Architects of card-rooms are to blame for a 
good deal of this bad whist : it is impossible to play 
in a badly lighted or badly ventilated room. Whist 
players have often told me exactly what they require, 
and it is very odd they cannot have it. 

With a large fire, the room hermetically sealed, and 
everybody smoking, the temperature should never ex- 
ceed sixty-one degrees and a half, nor be below sixty. 
There must be neither doors (they admit draughts) 
nor windows. Windows are open-— allow me to with- 
draw that offensive word — windows are exposed to 
two objections : (i) some scoundrel, regardless of con- 
sequences, might open one ; (2) instead of being 
placed in the ceiling or the floor, — where you would 
naturally expect to find them, — they are always at the 
side of the room, and no whist-player can see a card 
with the windows in such a position. 

Candles do not give sufficient light, and gas is un- 
bearable. A suggestion to try an attic with a skylight 
fell through (not through the skylight — I mean, the 
suggestion failed) because no one was able to go up- 
stairs : a lift would have overcome that objection, but 
the temperature difficulty remained. 

This only applies to clubs : curiously enough, in small 
stuffy back-rooms in private houses, gas never causes 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? gj 

headache ; and neither a mephitic atmosphere^ nor a 
temperature of one hundred and twenty degrees is at 
all disagreeable. 

Joking apart, the fons et origo malt is Law 91, and 
not only the head and front of the offending, but its 
barrel and hindquarters as well. Since the introduc- 
tion of signalling, the subsequent petrolatry, and all 
the elaborate functions of that cultus, an exaggerated 
importance (increasing in geometric ratio with every 
additional convention) has been attached to the last 
trick, — the only place where, by universal consent, 
anything can reasonably be 4< looked for ; " and if you, 
after seeing the cards played, informing your partner 
which is yours, (of course, in answer to his inquiry), 
gathering the trick, and arranging it neatly, should 
imagine you have done with it, you will be the victim 
of a fond delusion, — using " fond " in the old accepta- 
tion of the word. First, your partner will ask to see 
it at least twice ; then your opponents, one or both, 
will probably grab at it without asking, and put it back 
in a dishevelled condition : it is useless to specify 
what their mental state must be, and unfortunately, 
by the. time all these irritating performances have 
been gone through, and you have again arranged the 
trick symmetrically, you will find yours is not all you 
could wish. You can avoid some of these annoyances 
by allowing your partner to gather the tricks : but, 
from his slovenly mode of doing so, you will never be 



gg WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

able to see how many he has; and, just as you are 
endeavoring to concentrate your attention at a critical 
point, it will be distracted by your having to make an 
intricate calculation how the game stands, the data 
being the cards remaining in your own hand, and two 
confused heaps on the table. As long as this is per- 
mitted, whist is out of the question. One of the prin- 
cipal uses of the new method of suspended animation 
will turn out to be, that all decent whist-players will 
have to submit themselves to it, and remain, arranged 
in rows on shelves, till that law is abrogated. 

The number of shelves required will not appreciably 
affect the timber trade.* 

In the good time coming, promised by the poe* to 
those boys who wait a little longer ; when the present 
inspired and last-trick-inspecting generation is in the 
silent tomb, or cremated, as the case may be, and a 
new school, basing its play on common-sense and at- 
tention, has arisen, — there may be an improvement. 
Without joining the little girl whose world was hollow, 
and whose doll was stuffed with sawdust, in her aspir- 
ation, I am not an optimist ; and though this improve- 
ment, like the millenium, may be looming in the more 
or less remote future, I see no sign of it at present. 

* This refuge against boredom has fallen through. Seeing an 
article on Suspended Animation in The Contefnporary Review for 
November, 1879, I pounced upon it, thinking it might contain the 
recipe ; and found to my disgust that the process, so circumstantially 
narrated, was a hoax. 



WH1$7\ OR BUMBLEPUPPY '< 89 

If u to everything there is a season, and a time to 
every purpose under the sun," also " a time to lose 
and a time to cast away " (Eccl. i. 1-6), it seems clear 
to me there must be a time for bumblepuppy. 

Some people deny this : they say that the argument 
proves too much. They point out that Shakspeare 
says there are 

" Tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, 
Sermons in stones, and good in everything ; " 

and that, as this could not apply to bumblepuppy, 
these passages only show that it was unknown when 
they were written. 

Another argument of theirs against the antiquity 
of bumblepuppy, based on the passage, "In all labor 
there is profit," is altogether fallacious and unworthy 
of consideration : they admit the labor, but deny the 
profit. This must have had its origin east of Temple 
Bar, where it is held there is no profit unless it as- 
sumes a pecuniary form. But repressing your innate 
tendency to profane swearing, curbing your evil pas- 
sions generally, and the cultivation (under consider- 
able difficulties) of nearly all the cardinal virtues, as 
inuring to your moral well-being, are a profit of the 
most positive kind : * to be able to give a definite 

* While practising these virtues you are not obliged to look pleas- 
ant unless you feel so : this would be dissimulation. Heine's plan 
fulfils all reasonable requirements : — 

18 Once I said in my despairing, 
* This miisfc break na^r spirit nfcw ; ' 



9 o 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

But I bore it and am bearing, 
Only do not ask me how." 



answer to the long-standing conundrum, $ Is life 
worth living ? " is something. 

However, you can draw your own conclusion. The 
extract from Shakspeare is— 4 confess — difficult to 
get over : still, when Solomon makes use of these re- 
markable words, " a time to lose and a time to cast 
away," I fail to see what he could have had in his 
mind, unless it was this very game. 

At any rate, one thing is clear: bumblepuppy ex- 
ists now, and is not a pretty game (there can be no 
two opinions about that), neither—judging from the 
demeanor and language of its exponents — is it a pleas- 
ant game. I append a hand which is, I think, the 
finest specimen of it I ever saw. Judge for yourself. 
I had jotted down a few further remarks on this repul- 
sive subject; but, on reading them over, they seem 
to be not only inconsistent with that extreme rever- 
ence which is due to the young, but absolutely unfit 
for publication. 

" Quod factu fcedum est, idem est et dictu turpe." 
R. I. P. 

The two games are now before you : let me con- 
clude the lecture with one more extract from my fa- 
vorite classic, — 

" Utrum horum mavis accipe/' 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 
SPECIMEN OF BUMBLEPUPPY IN EXCELSIS. 



91 



Score love all. Trumps diamond 9. Z by a bum- 
blepuppist with the highest opinion of himself. 





A. 


X. 


B. 


z. 


I. 


H 


5 


L H 


6| 


H 


2 


H 


4 


2. 


D 


2 


D 


5 


D 


4 


P 


Kg |! 


3- 


S 


3 


S 


Kg 


L s 


Ace | 


S 


4 H 


4- 


s 


7 


s 


Kn 


s 


2 


i S 


Qn j 


5- 


D 


8 


1 D 


10 | 


s 


10 


s 


9 !!! 


6. 


D 


3 


D 


7 


D 


6 


1 D - 


Qn ]!!!! 


7- 


C 


3 


D 


Kn 


L D 


Ace | 


D 


9 ! ! I! ! 


8. 


C 


4 


II 


8 


L s 


8 | 


C 


2 


9- 


C 


6 


C 


8 


L s 


6 I 


C 


9 


10. 


C 


7 


11 


Qn 


I s 


5 | 


C 


Kn 


11. 


II 


10 


L H 


Ace | 


11 


3 


H 


9 


12. 


i 
1 H 

I 


8 


L c 


Ace J 


c 


5 


C 


Kg 


13- 


1 

! H 


Kn 


L c \_ 


Qn | 


c 


10 


H 


Kg 









This is the worst hand ever played, without excep- 
tion : it is a microcosm, complete in itself, and con- 
tains examples of stupidity, selfishness, duplicity, de" 
fiance of all recognized principles, and every conceiv- 
able villany. 

Trick 2. — The misplaced ingenuity in deceiving X 
as to the position of the Qn is worth notice. 



92 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPfY? 

Ttick 3. — The lead of the only weak suit, in prefer- 
ence to the strong suits of club, playing up to declared 
weakness in hearts, or returning the trump, is very 
neat. 

Trick 5.— The force here of the trump leader, in- 
ducing him to believe that Z at any rate hx)lds the 
remaining spades, — an illusion carefully fostered by B, 
— is especially good. 

Trick 7. — The return of the trump at this point, 
with the best trump (probably) and three long spades 
(certainly) declared against him in one hand, is a real 
gem. 

THE DOMESTIC RUBBER. 

A third variety of whist, the domestic rubber, I 
have passed over in silence. What takes place in the 
sanctity of private life, it would be as unbecoming for 
me to divulge as for you to seek to know. 

" O'er all its faults we draw a tender veil, 
So great its sorrows, and so sad its tale." 

At the same time I don't think I am violating any 
confidence in stating that you will neither find there 
signalling, nor the penultimate of five and its devel- 
opments : yet, though free from those annoyances, 
the game, even when mitigated by muffins, music and 
the humanizing influence of woman, is inexpressibly 
dreary, and you had better keep out of it if you can ; 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYf 93 

but should this not be practicable,— for some relative 
from whom you have a reasonable expectation of a tip 
may be staying ya the house, and you may be corn- 
ed to sacrifice yourself either on the altar of duty 
of self-interest, — then never forget that sweetness 
temper is much more important here than knowl- 
edge of whist, and, consoling yourself with the two 
following reflections : — 

(1) That (according to Epicurus) prolonged pain is 
rather pleasant than otherwise, extreme pain always 
short. * 

(2) That those whom the gods love die young, — 
When your hour arrives, bare your throat to the 

knife with a smile. 

So shall your memory smell sweet and blossom in 
domestic circles. 

DOUBLE DUMMY. 

Double dummy is not whist : it much more closely 
resembles chess. One is a game of inference : the 
other is an exact science, where the position of every 
card is known. 

Often, in the course of a controversy on the latter 
game, you will hear one of the disputants imagine he 
has clinched the matter by challenging the other to play 
double dummy : it would quite as germane to suggest 

* He is right to some extent: the domestic rubber always closes 
early. 



9 4 WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPY? 

trial by battle, or to move an adjournment to a good 
dry skittle-alley. 

" The bearings of these observations lays in the appli- 
cation of them. That a' n't no part of my duty. Avast 
then, keep a bright look-out for'ard, and good luck to 
you/' 



WHIST, OR BUMBLEPUPPYt 95 



EPILOGUE. 

Some readers of these lectures have complained that 
it is often difficult to discriminate when they are seri- 
ous and when they " attempt to be funny ; " and have 
suggested that the attempts should be indicated clearly 
by a note, — thus : fl® * this is a goak ! — and the re- 
mainder printed in red ink. While fully recognizing 
their difficulty, and sympathizing with them, I am un- 
able to entertain either proposition. The first is an 
American innovation, utterly at variance with the con- 
servative character of the work ; and it is a fatal objec- 
tion to the other, that, if whatever is important were 
picked out in red, many well-disposed children would 
at once rush to the natural — but highly erroneous — 
conclusion that they had got hold of a Prayer-Book. 
Another complaint, that my advice to bumblepuppists 
is likely to lead them farther astray, is beside the ques- 
tion ; even assuming — for the sake of this argument — 
such a thing to be possible. The point is,whether I have 
described "the game" correctly ; and I am prepared to 
stake my reputation as an experienced bumblepuppy- 
player, that I have done so without manifesting fear, 
favor, or affection. 



ENOCH MORGAN'S SONS' 




SAPotro 



WINDOWS, 

MARBLE, 

NIYE& 

POLISHES 
TIN-WA , 
JBON,SISEL,&o. 



a 



man 



p? 



GKR, A TT3D 9 SQ,TT.A.T£B -AJETX> TnPjRIGKSTC? FT A TTOS. 

The demands now made by an educated musical public are so 
exacting, that very few pL no-forte manufacturers can produce instru- 
ments that will stand the test which merit requires. 

SohmeIS & Co. , as manufacturers, rank among this chosen few, 
who are acknowledged to be makers of standard instruments. In 
these days when many manufacturers urge the low price of their 
wares, rather than their superior quality, as an inducement to pur- 
chase, it may not be amiss to suggest that, in a piano, quality and 
price are too inseparably joined, to expect the one without the other. 

Every piano ought to be judged as to the quality of its tone, its 
touchy and its workmanship ; if any one of these is wanting in excel- 
lence, however good the others may be, the instrument will be imper- 
fect. It is the combination of all thVse qualities in the highest degree 
that constitutes the perfect piano, and it is such a combination, as has 
given the SOHMER its hono rable posit ion with the trade and public. 

Pricesasreasonableasconsistent 
with the Highest Standard. 

MANUFACTURERS, 

149 to 155 East 14th St.,N.Y. 



jiven the SOHMER its honorable positior 

SOHMER 



STANDARD PUBLICATIONS. 



Chas. Dickens' Complete "Works, 
15 Vols., 12mc, cioih, gilt, $22.50. 

W. M. Thackeray's Complete 
"Works, 11 Vols., 121110, cloth, gilt, 
$16.60. 



George Eliot's Complete "Works, 

8 Vols., i2mo, cloth, gilt, $10.00. 
Plutarch's Lives of Illustrious 

Men. 3 Vols., 12mo. cloth, gilt, 

$4.50/ 
JOHN W. LOVELL CO., Publishers, 

14 and 16 Veset Street, New Yobk. 



STANDARD PUBLICATIONS. 



Rollins' Ancient History, 4 Vols., 
12mo, cioth, e;ilt, $6.00. 

Charles Knight's Popular His- 
tory of England, 8 Vols., 12uio, 
cloth, gilt top, $12.00. 



Lovell's Series of Bed line 
Poets, 50 Volumes of all the best 
works of the world's great Poets, 
Tennyson, Shakespeare, Milton, Mere- 
dith, Ingelow, Proctor, Scott, Byron, 
Dante, &c, $1.25 per volume. 
JOHN W. LOVELL CO., Publishers. 

14 and 16 Veset Street, New York. 




If FVCiTflilB 1 f%&€* AM The finest organ in the 

HblOIUllCi ytfyAPii Market. Price reduced 
from $175 to $125. Acclimatized case. "Anti-Shoddy and Anti-Monopoly. Not all case, 
stops, top and advertisement. "Warranted for 6 years. Has the Excelsior lS-Stop 
Combination, embracing : Diapason, Flute, Melodia-Forte, Yiolina, Aeolina, Viola, 
Flute-Porte, Celeste, Dulcet, Echo, Melodia, Celestina, Octave Coupler, Tremelo, 
Bub-Bass, Cello, Grand-Organ Air Brake, Grand-Organ Swell. Two Enee- 
Stops. This is a Walnut case, with Music Balcony, Sliding Desk, Side Handles, Ac. 
Dimensions : Height, 75 inches; Length, 48 inches; Depth, 24 inches. This 5-Octavc 
Organ, with Stool, Book and Music, we will box and deliver at dock in New York, tot 
$1£5. Send by express, prepaid, check, or registered letter to 

DICKINSON & CO., Pianos and Organs, 

19 West llth Street, New York. 



£ - V 



LOVELL'S LIBRARY. 



OATALOG-UE. 



85. Shandoft Bells, by William Black. 20 

86. Monica, by The Duchess 10 

87. Heart and Science, by Wilkie Col- 

lins 20 

83. The Golden Calf, by Miss M. E. 

Braddon 20 

89. The Dean's Daughter, by Mrs. 

Gore 20 

90. Mrs. Geoffrey, by The Duchess.. 20 

91. Pickwick Papers, Part I. 20 

Pickwick Papers, Part II 20 

92. Airy Fa ry Lilian, by The Duchess. 20 

93. McLeod of Dare, by Wm. Black. 20 

94. Tempest Tossed, by Tilton, P't 1.20 
Tempest Tossed, by Tilton, P'tII.20 

95. Letters from High Latitudes, by 

Lord Dufferin 20 

96. Gideon Flevce, by Henry W. Lucy. 20 

97. India and Ceylon, by E. Haeckle..20 

98. The Gypsy Queen, by Hugh De 

Normand 20 

99. The Admiral's Ward, by Mrs. 

Alexander 20 

100. Nimport, by E. L. Bynner, Ft I. .15 
Nimport, byE. L. Bynner, P't II. . 15 

101. Harrv Holbrooke, by Sir H. Ran- 

dall Roberts. . .. 20 

102. Tritons, by E. Lasseter Bynner, 

Part I 15 

Tritons, by E. Lasseter Bynner, 

Part II 15 

103 Let Nothing You Dismay, by Wal- 
ter Besant 10 

104. Lady Aud ley's Secret, by Miss M. 

E. Braddon 20 

105. Woman's Place To-Day, by Mrs. 

LUlie Devereux Blake., 20 

106. Dunallan, by Kennedy, Part I.. .15 
Dunallan, by Kennedy, Part II. .15 

107. Housekeeping and Home-Making, 

by Marion Harland 15 

108. No New Thing, by W. E. Norris..20 

109. The SpoopendykePapere, by Stan- 

ley Huntley 20 

110. False Hopes, by Goldwin Smith. .15 

111. Labor and Capital, by Edward 

Kellogg 20 

112. Wanda, by Ouida, Part 1 15 

Wanda, by Ouida, Part II 15 

113. More Words About the Bible, by 

Rev. Jas. S." Bush 20 

114. Monsieur Lecoq, byGaboriau, P't 1.20 
MonsieurLecoq, by Gaboriau, P't II . 20 

115. An Outline .of Irish History, by 

Justin H. McCarthy 10 

116. The Xerouge Case, by Gaboriau .. 20 

117. Paul Clifford, by Lord Lytton... 20 

118. A New Lease of Life, by About. .20 

119. Bourbon Lillies 20 

120. Other Peoples 1 Money, by Emile 

Gaboriau 20 

121 . The Lady of Lyons, by Lord Ly tton . 10 

122. Ameline de Bourg 15 



123. A Sea Queen, by W. Clark Rnssell . 20 

124. The Ladies Lindores, by Mrs. 

Oliphant 20 

125. Haunted Hearts, by J. P. Simpson. 10 

126. Loys, Lord Beresford, by The 

Duchess 20 

127. Under Two Flags, by Ouida, Ft I 20 
Under Two Flags, by Ouida,P't 11.20 

123. Money, by Lord Lytton 10 

129. In Peril of His Life, by Gaboriau. 20 

130. India, by Max Muller 20 

131. Jets and Flashes 20 

132. Moonshine and Marguerites, by 

The Duchess. 10 

133. Mr. Scarborough's Family, by 

Anthony Trollope, Part 1 15 

Mr. Scarborough's Family, by 

Anthony Trollope, Tart II 15 

Arden, by A. Mary F. Roberts... 15 
The Tower of Percemont, by 

George Sand 20 

Yolande, by Wm. Black 20 

Cruel London, by Joseph Hatton.20 
The Gilded Clique, by Gaboriau.. .20 
Pike County Folks, by E. H. Mott.,20 
Cricket on the Hearth. byDickens.10 
Henry Esmond, by Thackeray. . . .20 
Strange Adventures of a Phaeton, 

by Wm. Black 20 

Denis Duval, by W. M.Thackeray .10 
Old Curiosity Shop, by Charles 

Dickens, Part 1 15 

Old Curiosity Shop, by Charles 

Dickens, Part II 15 

Ivanhoe, by Scott, Part 1 15 

Ivanhoe, by Scott, Part II 15 

White Winer*, bv Wm. Black 20 

The Sketch Book, by Irving. . . .20 
Catherine, by W. M. Thackeray 10 

Janet s Repentance, by Eliot 10 

Barnaby Rudge, Dickens Part 1. 15 
Barnaby Rudge, Dickens P't 11.15 
Felix Holt, by George Eliot.. .20 

Richelieu, bv Lord Lytton 10 

Sunrise, by Wm. Black Part I.. .15 
Sunrise, by Wm. Black Part II. . 15 
Tour of the World in 80 Days. . . .20 

Mystery of Orcival, Gaboriau 20 

Lovel, The Widower, by W. M. 

Thackeray 10 

The Romantic Adventures of a 

Milkmaid, by Thos. Hardy 10 

David Oopperfield. Part 1 20 

David Copperfield, Part II 20 

Charlotte Temple 10 

Rienzi, by Lord Lytton, Part 1. . 10 
Rienzi, by Lord Lytton, Part II .10 
Promise of Marriage, Gaboriau .25 
Faith and Unfaith, The Duchess 15 
The Happy Man, Samuel Lover. 10 
Barry Lyndon, by Thackeray. . .20 
Eyre's Acquittal, Helen Mathers 10 
20.000 Leagues under the Sea, by 
Verne 20 



134 
U5, 

136. 
137. 
138. 
139. 
140. 
141. 
142. 

143. 
144. 



145. 

146. 

147. 
148. 
149. 

150. 

151. 

152. 
153. 

154. 
^55. 
156. 

157. 

158. 

159. 

1C0. 

161. 

162. 
163. 
164. 
165. 
166. 



BRAIN MD NERVE FOOD. 




Vitalized Phos-phites 



COMPOSED OP THE NERVE-GIVING PRINCIPLES OP 
THE OX-BRAIN AND WHEAT-GERM. 

It restores the energy lost by Nervousness or Indigestion; relieves 
Lassitude and Neuralgia; refreshes the nerves tired by worry, excite- 
ment, or excessive brain fatigue ; strengthens a failing memory, and 
gives renewed vigor in all diseases of Nervous Exhaustion or Debility. 
It is the only PREVENTIVE FOR CONSUMPTION. 

It aids wonderfully in the mental and bodily growth of infants and 
children. Under its me the teeth come easier, the bones grow better, the skin 
plumper and smoother; the brain acquires more readily, and rests and sleeps 
mor4 sweetly. An ill-fed brain learns no lessons, and is excusable if peevish. 
It gives a happier and better childhood. 

" It is with the utmost confidence that I recommend this excellent pre- 
paration for the relief of indigestion and for general debility; nay, I do more 
than recommend, 1 really urge all invalids to put it to the test, for in sev- 
eral cases personally known to me signal benefits have been derived from 
its use. I have recently watched its effects on a young friend who has 
suffered from indigestion all her life. After taking the Vitalized Phos- 
phites for a fortnight she said to me; ■ I feel another person; it is a pleas- 
ure to live.' Many hard-working men and women — especially those engaged 
in brain -work — would be saved from the fatal resort to chloral and other 
destructive stimulants, if they would have recourse to a remedy so simple 
and so efficacious. " 

Emily Faithfull. 

Physicians have prescribed over 600,000 Packages because they 

know its Composition, that it is not a secret remedy, and 

that the formula is printed on every label 

For Sale toy Druggists or toy Jtiail, #i. 

F- CROSBY CO., 664 and 666 Sixth Avenue, New York. 



3 3> 'L. 
3 3> I 
3 3> _ 

J3 T3Q 

.:-l3 >3>a 

~3> ^so: 

O>330 

3 ; ^^^^ 

:> ::0> 

S>)3 £ ^>£2 

> : >3 
3 



~> 33 ^ 

>~3^^L =^ = 

> 3» ■■v:^> ■--■ 3 3 

3^3» ^L^V 



3g 

SIS* 



3»> 

^>j > 
3>> 

333» 

B>3» 
333> 



3*r3 



> :> ^> 

3>3> 
3>3r 
33 : 

3) r 
3 3 3: 
33 3 
33 I 
3 o v: 
3* 3 
E3E> ^ 
3 3 "2 

► 3 i 
^3P3 

mr> 

33 

33 

■J>zr 



3> 3> :>:>3 3 



* 3> > £> 
3>>S> 

^> >-^ 

3» >a^ 

3» 33Z> 
3t> 3>3^ 
^>^> > :> iz» 
3to> 33 _ 



3> m y 

3 r > 
:> j> 
3> H3* 

3CiP> :. 

33^> 

3> m> _ 
3 b» . 

> 3> 



3> > 

3 '5D 



>:> z: 
3> 

Z>» 






Z>"^ 



3-0 






:>3> ^ 



3 3 3» 
33 3>3Q> 

>3 ^^ 
->^> ~:>S» 5>\> 

33 :^i> >o 
33 :^ >>": 

: :>3 3^^ ^O 

33 ^ci> yy: 



33 






ke> J-a£jr>j 






:5&> >2> 



> '■*■£:> 



^L>*> 



3I> 






ID ^ 

» : 
G3E> 

3> 












2> > »>' ^ 

> ■ J$> M 

■a* :> > o x> I3^> 



-> Z» :> ^ 

i z^> > ■■■> ; 



> > 


>> _ 




B* 


^ 


> 3 


5> 


i> l>s> z: 


5^ ' 


'J^ .> 


g r5> 


"_>S>:j> ' 


^^ j 


' '^ 3 ! 


o>> 


^mm>> : 


2^ 


jsj^ y 


t&y* 


;;^^^> " 


^> 


">^^ > 


"> 


Z3a^«> 


^ 






?> :> ^> 






y 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



021 094 305 5 



